Despite some coaching from another, I am here at work, at 11:04pm posting to my website. [let’s see how long it takes to post this!].

So today was good. Went to Gateway, slept through a couple hours of class and went to Sonic for lunch. I have learned that Sonic, sans the Peanut Butter Fudge Shake, sucks. I found out that I get to ride in the Gateway balloon tomorrow morning @ the Gateway Party. Apparently every year before the balloon festival Gateway throws a huge breakfast party / gathering deal, and I get to attend. And ride the balloon 🙂 I don’t get to ride it at the festival on Saturday, but I am welcome to show up and sport the Gateway gear. Nifty, eh?

Got in to HPI today and was immediately whisked away by Jack [from HPI] and Joe Crook [from Optimum Network Solutions (upstairs)] to go get coffee. Well, we didn’t get coffee, we ended up at Jack Quinn’s. Went up stairs and there was an IT Hob-Knob deal going on, where a lot of the local IT people get together to … drink! They passed out tokens for free booze and everyone was slamming them down. I got some Guiness. It was soOoOooOoo good. 😛 Anywho, showed up and dropped off business cards at the door for a drawing and just sat around and talked to other IT people. I was by *far* the youngest person there, which was okay because I fit right in with my geeky companions, and landed some new business for HPI — one possible web design thing and two hosting prospects. As I was drinking my guiness, I was eyeing the prizes that they had for the raffle. In there were a couple CDs, some software, a handspring, a couple books and a few gift certificates. Well, get this — I won the Visor Handspring! :-O 😀 😀 That is mad cool.

So that’s that. And now I am heading home to grab some sleep before I go party @ Gateway and take the final exam for training. Wowsah, 8 minutes to post. heh … ‘night

Update: I got to ride the balloon, it was really cool. We scooted around for a while [maybe 10 minutes] then landed … it was like a shuttle, because the ground crew had like 20 people in the van, and they just rotated everyone through the balloon each time it landed. Quite fun. The breakfast party was a blast — the nippy morning air and the smells and everything reminded me a *lot* of the balloon classic last summer. [gets reminiscent, sniff sniff] I also finished my final exam before anyone else and missed four out of 100 for a 96%. WOoOOoOoo!

So my parents came back right as I was opening the door expecting the pizza guy. I open the door and start writing a check and a few seconds later my parents walk in. It was pretty cool. It wasn’t high stress at all — they saw the house and seemed to dig that I can indeed sustain myself for months at a time without their intervention. I told them the car tales, and about 1/2 way through the long story they said “just stop, we’re going to bed.” That was hilarious. Anywho, they are leaving on saturday for a Caribbean Cruise. They mock me because I wake up at 5:30 and they don’t have to wake up at all. It is good seeing them.

Deep thoughts:
AOL Instant Messenger is *not* the place for anything but trivial chatter. — For God’s sake, pick up the fucking phone. AIM misses so much. My AIM name is ‘rand0m’ if you want to have some trivial conversation.

This site is my outlet.– I post any goddamn trivial thing I want to. Don’t enjoy it? Don’t come back. Seriously, putting how I feel about things down on to some medium other than neurons does wonders for my mental health. Everything from relationships to cars to family goes here, and if it’s not good enough for your standards then don’t read it. capish?

Being a dick is stupid — I’m through with that stupid phase. Not only is being a jerk tiring, it also makes people not like you. And when it’s faked, like in my case, chicks do not dig it. Hence, I am no longer a jerk. I am heading back to being Randal. Thanks for bearing with me.

And that’s it … ‘night ‘night!

Okay, so this morning I went out to the honda at about 6:15am. Showed up and couldn’t get it to go forward at all. I stuck it in reverse, and voila, it went. Then it decided that going forward was a good idea, too. So the honda seems to be working right. That’s good.

On the way downtown from Gateway, my truck’s 2nd and 3rd gears started making an awful racket. I think the synchros there are going … and the tranny shop is on vacation until the 4th. I’m going to park it in the Palmer HS diagonal parking lot until either A) I figure out something else to do with it, or B) the tranny shop opens. So that’s that.

I don’t want to get all up in hawk for another car … I’m thinking that when it’s all said and done, I can sell my truck for $3,000, maybe $3,500. That will either be pay-back-loan-money or a down payment on another car. I am thinking strongly about an integra … dunno why, though. What year is your Neon, Disco?

So yup, that’s that … on my way home to finish cleaning and to pray that my parents aren’t back yet.

Update: I saw this nifty, inspiring even, quote, and despite the fact that it doesn’t mesh well, I thought I’d post it … :

“A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains it’s original dimension.” -Oliver Wendall Holmes

Okay, so I picked up the honda the other day, and the radiator cracked. So today, I bought a new radiator and installed it. Drove it around, everything works great. WOoOOOoo! Driving back to the geekpad after getting some grub with mike and craig, and the honda won’t go. The light turns green, I hit the gas to turn right onto wahsatch from boulder, and nothing happens. Car just kind of sits there, revving. Fuck. Get out, push car around corner. Quite irritating, pushing cars around.

Pop the hood, nothing looks wrong. Quite odd. Get inside, try to go, nada. If I release the clutch while in neutral, the car stalls. Getting it into gear is difficult, and if it’s in gear and I gas it and release the clutch, the car doesn’t go. It’ll rev up until the clutch actually releases, at which point the car stalls. I have zero idea what this means, but I’m pretty sure that it has something to do with the clutch / transmission. again. Quite irritating. grr.

Driving the truck home tonight [after walking back to the pad], and I notice a weird sound … kind of like sharpening a knife on a rotating rock or the sound of two dimes being rubbed together. Kind of difficult to describe. Anywho, it makes this sound whenever I’m running at 2800 RPMs or higher. I have no idea what this is either. Grr. Quite irritating also.

So that’s that. Saw Mike Lee for the first time in forever tonight. He’s working @ MCI doing Long Distance customer support … he makes more than I do [yea, how’s that for twisting the knife, eh?] and enjoys it [i think]. He does lots of drugs. still. He looks to have cleaned up a bit, which is quite good. He mumbles and talks in a low voice all the time, though, which is again, quite irritating.

My parents are leaving Utah tomorrow morning to come home. I have no idea when they’ll actually get here. I hope it’s not until tuesday. I am not looking forward to this – my mother is quite irritating. They do, however, leave on saturday for some shindig or another. I was informed via phone that there is indeed a Cold Stone Creamery in the springs now … I might have to go there for lunch tomorrow. Oh wait, can’t. Scratch that. Grr.

It looks like I have very, very bad luck with all things car related. I really hate that because they are a part of everyone’s daily life. I’d like to get an integra or an accord or some other car that is reliable. and is pretty fast. and looks good. and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. oh that’s right, those cars don’t exist. Grrr. Yup, here it comes :: Quite Irritating. ‘night

Okay, so I know I still haven’t fixed all the shit on the site. Yes, the titles are broken. Yes, I know all the links don’t work. Yes, the administration interface consists only of a news posting form. Yes, indeed, I know all this. And I know that none of you are complaining about it. And that, I might add, is quite disturbing. I would figure that as a high-quality sphere of volumnous web-traffic, everyone would be ready to bitch and point at the drop of a hat. More than once even, but no. So, if you would all please bitch and moan to motivate, that would be great. [I don’t believe I just typed that].

Another thing. There are lots of people who randomly hit my site. That is quite tasty. The only thing is that they don’t ever comment, and that makes me sad. It sure would be nice to have all the 1st time visitors post something, like saying “Hi”. That would just be peachy.

And one more thing … about the blue banner at the top vs. the old purple one? I like the italicized rand0m.org better than the original, and the blue is nifty. But I am to please — purple? blue? normal text? italicized? Please, sound off.

I did nothing today. Well, not true. I had my truck’s tires patched and rotated, and I worked on some user-accounting SQL & Radius stuff at HPI . And I think peepz are meeting @ the Carmike 10 to see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I have my truck [which is running flawlessly, I might add], so I’ll go see that. I maxed my Visa today, what with all the recent financial hoo-haa. I am picking up a new radiator tomorrow morning and installing it in the honda, which is currently @ the geekpad. Not much else going on other than that … ‘night!

*** Update ***: Man, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is the funniest movie I have seen in a looong time. In fact, I haven’t seen a movie this good in … wow, a looong time. It’s done by Kevin Smith, creator of Mallrats, Clerks, Chasing Amy & Dogma — I’m not a Smith disciple, and I wholeheartedly recommend seeing this movie. I might go see it again 🙂

Okay, so I had an okay day at work today. Picked up my first $400 paycheck, which was nice. Anywho, so I picked up the honda and paid $780 to get it. Tim gave me a ride up there [Go Tim!]. So I pay and am going downtown, when all of a sudden the engine just konks out. I’m like “wtf!?” So I pull over and pop the hood and there is radiator fluid all over the place. Oh man. So I call the place I just picked it up from, and they sent two guys out. The filled the car up with radiator fluid and followed me over to the pad [where I am now] to make sure I’m okay. Turns out that the top of the radiator cracked — it’s ceramic, so it’s not an easy weld 🙁 I don’t know a repair cost yet. The worst part is that I didn’t get a chance to deposit my check. Oh well.

I was supposed to have James pick me up to go see a movie then drop me off at home, but he never showed. So I sat on the pad’s porch till about 9:00pm, and am now sitting around waiting for craig to show up in hopes that he’ll give me a ride home tonight. please?

Update: Spent the evening with Craig … we didn’t do much except bullshit about customer support. It was good. We both realized that we need more friends. And women. Thanks for shuttling me around 🙂

Okay, so here’s a problem. I am supposed to pick up the honda from the shop tomorrow. Problem with that is that I have only one of me. So, what I’m looking for is a kind soul who will follow me out to my house, then drive me up Fillmore and I-25 to pick up the honda. There is financial reward involved. Anytime after 4:30pm. Please?

Also, I went and bought a VoiceStream phone today. It’s the Nokia 8290 … check this number: 321-9988. Yup, just one digit off from my home phone number. I don’t know if I’ll keep it, though … the plan is $49/mo for 3000 minutes, roaming across a bunch of states is free and free long distance in those same states [CO, UT, WO,NV,NM, TX]. I have until sunday night to turn it back in if not satisfied. Please call me on it [321-9988] to check coverage etc — it works better than my sprint phone here at my house.

2001-08-23 22:43:40 –

Okay, so Janelle called my new phone, and then Tim called it! Two peeps on the phone at once, already! Holy Cow. I think this is cause for celebration 😀

for the ignorant, Tore left for Santa Fe this morning to start his sophomore year at St. John’s …

Are you as bored as I am? Is your life as fucked up as mine is? Hahahaha, you wish you could be so depraved.

I picked up a CCNA study guide a couple days ago … it’s good stuff. Did some other stuff too that really sucks, like last night, I completely lost all my self-control and will power and resolve and all the carefully constructed things I had been believing for the past few weeks. Yea, I hate it when that happens. That’s twice inside a week. Now I have to re-delude myself in hopes of making things I want to be real become real. That’s enough of that.

I am going to be swearing off alcohol. Well, not all alcohol — I think an occasional beer, when available, is okay, but I’m going to finish off the rum in the freezer and that’s it. No more for me :: it does bad things, and I’ve noticed that I think about having a drink to calm down — I am not going to allow that to continue.

Spent time with Tore last night … I think we were both too tired to really enjoy it 100%. I did, however, get my truck and meet the new chick at the perk … she’s 21 though. :-/ I’m seriously considering swearing off girls, too. Sure, they’re great, but jesus, what a pain in the ass.

So, that’s that. Oh, and I was late to work today — woke up at 6:33 am. That’s three minutes after I’m supposed to leave. Suck … oh well, showed up went to sleep, no problem. I get paid on friday! WoOOoOo!

* News Flash * The java-based AOL Instant messenger client sucks ass. There is no notification of anything — sign ons, offs, incoming messages, nada. grr.

have you ever been going along just fine, when all of a sudden, all the weights that you bear every day just get infinitely heavier? I was driving home tonight, don’t know if it was due to exhaustion or what, but I just cracked. Everything, I mean everything came down on me … how my life is, how I’m not close to getting anywhere, how I’ve affected people, how I’ve changed, what my family thinks of me, the future of other people, everything, it all just came down, and I pulled over and just sobbed. I hate this. I still feel it. Sitting here, I feel compelled to go to everyone I know and apologize and try to make it all right, because I’ve made so much wrong. Even to myself, I want to make everything up. I don’t regret much at all, but I know that some of the things I’ve done are wrong, and it hurts, and I just want to set things straight, but it’s almost impossible, now. II feel worse about the things I haven’t done, the things I didn’t make right when I had the chance, the omissions of doing right. every song on the radio, every car i see, every light, some flashing some just glaring blindingly, it just brings everything back, and it hurts.

I don’t even know where to begin; I want it to stop.