servar, sleep, leech

Was up until about 1am last night getting my servar prepped hardware-wise to give to this guy for this laptop [which I’m writing this on]. Was up until about 6am trying to get win2k to install onto a SCSI-controlled HD … with no luck. Went to sleep, woke up 2 hours later, said fuck it, and dropped it off to him. i hope he doesn’t mind [grin]. Got to work at about 10:30, and jef bitched. I just stood there … not in the mood for confrontations at all. Then I got some coffee. it was good. the lack of sleep is bad, but caffiene does great things. and now I am in a telephone closet in the roger’s building, where our wireless is, which is currently not working, and I am using some company’s DSL connection. being a computer professional is handy; it let’s me do all kinds of things that normal people can’t do [grin].

Spent the evening over at craig’s place. they smoked up. i sat away from them and loved my laptop. I’m so lame. heh

how I love

rain. it was raining on the way home tonight; when i parked, i got out, and just stood there, looking up at the sky, getting soaked by those big, fat drops of falling water. it was great. it made me feel great. and then the lightning flashed, and i could see everything — individual rain drops, the clouds, everything. it was simply spectacular. i suggest that the next time it rains everyone go out and just enjoy it.

simply incredible.

2001-05-29 05:33:43 – The Burnz
Oh goddamn Randal, not you too. Here you were sounding so anti-drug and now you are talking about the rain. Please don’t snort any more diced cock. Hey kids, I’ll be in the springs this afternoon/ evening (May 29th) and thought I would use Randal’s site to see if anyone wanted to entertain me tonight. Nothing flashy, but sex is always nice. This is Matt by the way, why don’t I just put my own damn name?
2001-05-29 15:19:27 – bastard
damn dude, we should do something unfortunately my ass was recently reclassified as "broke"


Went and saw bryce and andy tonight. it was fun. heard a lot of bad stuff about hpi, although the info is definately biased, so i make sure to have some salt. after that i went out with janelle and got coffee @ barnes and noble, went to a fair, and saw a dark blue 66 mustang fastback for sale for only $12,500 — it was minty, and I wanted to cry when i saw it. i want it badly. despite an awkward beginning, i realized some stuff, and i had a good time. now i am home. my dad is home also, which is quite good. he is great. also found out that my parents will be gone for both july and august. that’s cool. that’s all. ‘night


wowsah, got to talk to a whole slew of people i haven’t talked to in a while. jared seehafer, for one, which was good. talked to bryce case, who is oddly enough alive and well, and andy goodwin, a former employee of hpi. it was all good — i think i’ll go see them tonight after i eat.

this is the car from the movie ‘driven’ … quite sweet:

saturday already?

Well, I didn’t go to the lan party. In fact, I didn’t really do much of anything. I did my laundry, I mowed the lawn, watered, hedged, cleaned a bit. Made everything look good. It was good.

Went downtown to the party at the pad … lots of booze, lots of pot, lots of people abusing both. not really my style of party … so i left. went with tore and janelle to old chicago, ordered food, got it, didn’t eat it, and left to pick up my dad from the airport. spent the rest of the night [till 12:15am] talking to him. it was good.

Here is a *really* good article on traffic jams and what you can do to help — I definately recommend that everyone read it:

While we’re on traffic and cars, here is a hilarious picture:


2001-05-27 08:30:03 – Nell
"While we’re on traffic and cars, here is a hilarious picture:" FUCK YOU!
2001-05-27 11:24:01 – rand0m
jesus christ, what crawled up your ass and died? calm down …
2001-05-27 13:05:59 – Master Ha-reed
Oh come on Janelle, whats a little sexist humor here and there?
2001-05-27 19:02:28 – Nell
just so everyone knows (and nothing further needs to be said – by anyone), i was kinda joking there. i considered adding ‘tee hee’ after it, but decided it wasn’t necessary. maybe i should have…
2001-05-28 22:55:54 – laura
eh, i suppose it’s nice to see that people still find shit like that funny. don’t really know why. i think i’m going to go make fun of "fags" now. or not. hehe

lan – party ?

I don’t know why, but I am not too enthused about the lan @ uccs, or even the planned follow up party at craig’s place. Very odd … just get this funky feeling when I think about it.

In other news, had a pretty good time with some people last night – we chilled at old chicago until about 1:15 am. It was enjoyable … matt is a very funny guy …


I hate it when this happens. I have a perfectly normal day, and then something inside me clicks, and I get down. Don’t know how it happened today, but I just wanted to die today. So I go to the park and lay down for 45 minutes and enjoy the sun. I fall asleep, I wake up. As soon as my eyes open, I have this intense loathing of myself. I don’t know why. I just hate who I am and everything I stand for. This is not typical behavior for me; in fact, I love me. But right now, I hate me. I have no idea how to resolve this. I hate the fact that I am who I am and that I am how I am. It just fucking sucks. I want to have good fun. The last time I had a truly good time was on the rafting trip. Before that? I have no idea. A *long* time before that. I hate that. I fucking hate the way that everything is for me. I loath. I hate. Just fucking shoot me already.

Update: Spent some time with tony tonight, and he provoked me to do some thinking about where this funk comes from. So I did. Here it is:

  • Financial Stress
  • College [?]
  • Lack of intimacy about anything — job, people, opposite sex
  • I think those are the big things on my mind; solving those things, though, are a different matter altogether. ‘night

    2001-05-25 01:53:32 – The Burnz
    I can tell you what they told me. Typical happiness with inexplicable lows is a result of the ID not being fed. The rumor is that you are not satisfying anything but your ego/superego. Hormones and weather changes also have a bearing. I don’t know how valid it is, but that is the run down I got. Doubt that helps, but I sure like to throw around the word ID.
    2001-05-25 02:10:58 – Xeon
    This link since I don’t really know how to communicate with Laura is for her and her friends… post freely ๐Ÿ™‚ <a href="">Man at Denny’s Discussion</a>
    2001-05-25 02:23:12 – Laura
    yeah, jocelyn, craig, matt fullen, sam, ian and i talked to some dude who claimed to be a writer for the rocky mountain news tonight at dennys for like three hours. he was obviously not from the rocky mountain news. i also got hit on by a cowboy with wranglers and a nice big black cowboy hat. apparently, i am hard to communicate with. eh, that figures. also, randal, i think you should talk to me about what’s up because i know i can offer a fun perspective. actually, i just think i could help you/cheer you up/whatever. yeah, that’s cheesy, but it’s ok.

    I hate titles [still]

    Last night I met up with Tore, Tony and Laura. We watched some of Half-Baked [movie]. Then we met up with Janelle downtown, and ultimately with some junior and senior IB people. It was pretty good. Then we all left. Exciting, huh?

    This morning I wanted waffles, and I found that we had no syrup, so I had to find an alternative. That other choice turned out to Gnutella! Yes, the tasty chocolate-peanut-butter stuff tastes delicious on Eggo waffles. um-um-mmmm!

    I will not be throwing a part at my place this week simply because I want to garner my parents trust. The past while of freedom has been great, and I would like to do it again without them having to worry about me. Sorry, no party. I hear there is one @ craig’s place on saturday, though. [grin]

    2001-05-24 15:48:59 – Xeon
    … sorry if anyone has tried to call me :/ My telephone has been out for 2 days now because qwest is fixing our T1 here at the <a href="">pad</a> hopefully I will have a phone by some time today ๐Ÿ™‚ Call me on my cell if you want to talk to me! Today is thursday and new movies come out tomarrow!
    2001-05-24 17:39:23 – Laura
    I don’t know anyone who would be trying to call craig, would you? ๐Ÿ™‚ but, i’m not even sure if craig is xeon. i can only assume. ok. bye
    2001-05-25 02:06:23 – Man at Denny’s
    Are you sure about your existance and what about the world 40 years later?

    Fire Fire Fire!

    So yea, I narrowly avoided injury this morning. I get up and take a shower, and realize that the ‘hot’ water coming out of the shower is not hot at all. In fact, it’s quite chilly. So I finish my ice-shower and get ready for work, and decide to look into this phenomenon. Turns out that the pilot light for the water heater went out … It could have something to do with all the doors being left open with the house fan being on, but that’s purely speculation. So I get a long match and go about re-lighting the pilot light. So I get it lit, and the instructions say to turn this little knob to ‘on’ once it’s lit. So I turned it to ‘on’. Gigantic orange and blue flames promptly proceed to shoot out from underneath the heater in all directions. It was cool as hell. I’m lucky I didn’t catch myself on fire. Anywho, the flames are going all over, and I’m like ‘holy shit!’ … so I turn the thing back to ‘pilot light’ and let it sit for a while and burn off all the extra gas, then i turned it back to ‘on’. No flames this time. Just a nice, cozy blue glow as the water began to heat. I hope there is hot water when I get home.

    2001-05-23 23:57:16 – 4:20
    I know what rand0m was doing at 4:20 -=Happy 4;20=-
    2001-05-24 17:40:24 – L
    he was close to becoming flaming…hehe.


    and another day flies by, without even slowing down to say ‘hi’. Recount: yesterday, I mowed the lawn and watered — my parents are out of town, so I have to put in some household chores. Mowing the lawn is not easy when the lawn mower is not very compliant with going fast. Then I watered. Then I went downtown and met Tore and Laura. We watched the avs beat the blues over at old chicago. Then we ended up outside HW Briggs, and laura got all heated that I referred to ‘homosexual’ people as ‘fags’. It is easy to see that she is very ‘liberated’. brainwashed Then I came home. And now it’s today.

    Today was rather uneventful. Got into an argument with Jef because he is not competent enough to teach an introductory computer class. Got to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement too! My first NDA! w0ot! Was walking to my truck when I ran into janelle and tore; we had ice cream, went to the park, and then we all went our ways. And now here I am, in my room, sitting in my not-so-comfortable chair.

    I just now realized that James Hobson [Nova] posted in the previous post’s comments section. His e-mail address points to, which does not have a website, but I think is a local ISP that is going out of business considered being bought by hpi?. That’s pretty cool. I wonder if he works there, or if that just happens to be his ISP. Dunno. Good to see that he’s alive and kickin, though. That’s about it for me, unless something extraordinary happens in the next little bit.

    2001-05-22 23:56:49 – Laura
    YOU ARE A COCK. fuck off. yeah, i’m so brainwashed, and you, of course, are not. but see, all the bullshit you spew could be seen as just reciting stupid shit you hear from other people’s mouths, and know nothing about. That, my friend, is more brainwashing than anything. fucking a, you blow.
    2001-05-23 00:02:53 – Tore
    Wow. PMS what? just kidding, just kidding…although I do think someone needs to calm down a bit. Recommended method: liquor. Hard, preferably, but eh, whatever.
    2001-05-23 00:17:38 – Laura
    tore, why aren’t you on AIM? you posted like a minute after me. and i’m not PMSing, i’m just not being brainwashed by a hardcore conservative DARE graduate ๐Ÿ˜› but, i guess that would be wrong, then again, no one’s opinion can be wrong. guh. but yes, i think booze is a good solution. maybe some pot.
    2001-05-23 09:54:01 – bastard
    STAI links to SI International, just another defense company.