Ben’s bitch makes enchiladas, film at 11

Okay, so I’m out with Ben the other night, who, I might add, is the God of the house in that no woman can withstand his manliness for more than a few minutes without falling in love with him and that no man can dislike him simply because he is too nice, and we went to Wendy’s. Good trip. Come back, and there’s this girl waiting for Ben. Outside. In the cold. I couldn’t believe that he has women lining up like this. I shook my head and went to where it’s warm, while silently crying inside. This is when it hit me that I have lost all hope of any real relationship. Now, mind you, this may not be such a bad thing. Having many anonymous partners while occasionally dabbling in inebriation may sound like a good thing, but I’ll tell you, it’s not the best thing in the world by any stretch … [priss mode] in fact, the lack of emotional fulfillment just gets me down [/priss mode]. But that’s neither here nor there, because I supplant my lack of female real-luvin with doing exceedingly well in every other area of my life. I mean, shit, look at Huge TV, or the receiver, the nice place, the unending “I am sOo great” … serious, I couldn’t ask for more. Besides maybe a real date. On that note, I was talking to an anonymous female reader, and she tells me that when it comes to men, it’s like she’s walking through a pumpkin patch. Oh, look, a nice pumpkin. I’ll rate this one a 7. Walks along some more … Oh Look! A better pumpkin [promptly rips all vital organs from original pumpkin and fillets them and feeds them to her dog while cackling mercilessly] and then picks up Pumpkin B, which is a 7.9 … walking along, finds a really good pumpkin. Promptly throws Pumpkin B down on the ground and jumps up and down repeatedly, smashing any hopes for Pumpkin B ever having anyone pick his pitiful, sorry ass up, and then picks up Pumpkin C, which is a 9, and says, “Wow, 9 is pretty high.” But nOo, she doesn’t go home, happy with her uber-good 9-rated pumpkin. Nope, just keeps patrolling the patch, looking for that ellusive 10 pumpkin. And when she finds it, poor Pumpkin C is going to have his luscious, golden exterior split into tiny shards by her heart-wrenching, soul-killing, disdain. And this kind of shit is wrong. So all you bitches out there need to stop being so goddamn picky. At least when it comes to me. I may be a 2 or a 3, but dammit, when you’re done using me for pumpkin pie, don’t step on what’s left. Have you ever done something that you figured would land you in hot water and kind of destroy everything that you thought you had going with someone, yet it didn’t really do anything at all, besides make you wonder ‘what the fuck is going on?’ I have, and I’ll tell you, it’s pretty cool. For example, the fight with co-worker Jack not too long ago. Real Effects? None. This kind of thing has happened a couple times in the past month or so … pretty weird.

2002-03-27 22:32:28 – Ben
Dude, Randall, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Every woman I’ve truly cared about has either broken up with me, pushed me aside, or run off to Arizona :) And you’re the one always bringing the women around. The only reason women like me is that they can feel secure that I won’t sleep with them. I’m the "woman friend." But even that became untrue a few weeks ago. Well, untrue for a night. But that’s past. And I digress. The point of this post is that you’re totally awesome. I’m not gonna go into any details- if I even got started espousing your virtues, people would think I’m gay. That’s how cool you are. Ok, I’m done. Apparently, I’ve been thinking about this post too long.
2002-03-27 22:34:46 – cosmosmoon
Oh, that’s nice, somebody likes Randal, the skank.
2002-03-27 22:35:36 – keener2u
Dude I just can’t follow ben’s post because you know it is perfect…but apparently emily can…emily…that’s right emily
2002-03-27 22:38:28 – keener2u
Apparently all of Ben’s women friends are lesbians. Seeing what they do with ben…being a woman friend…riiighhhhtttttt
2002-03-27 22:47:06 – fourdegrees
damn this is funny stuff…sucks about the pumpkins tho. man, that’s harsh. do you really think that way? i suddenly feel insecure…ha yeah, ben just has ‘women friends’…women friends that hang out in bed with him, and follow him around, and fall in love with him, and — you get the idea… rand0m rawks.
2002-03-27 22:50:13 – ben
i suck.
2002-03-27 22:51:22 – cosmosmoon
Alright. I would simply like to make a clarification point on the pumpkins. Everybody (men included) discard pumpkins. The difference is we (as women) need to have a good reason to brutally destroy (a slightly embellished and bitter way of putting it) our pumpkins, versus the whole, we’ll just keep all the pumpkins until we’re bored and need a new one. Hrmmmm……. too much bitterness. Just kidding. Yay pumpkins.
2002-03-27 22:52:35 – keener2u
I’m gay. Just thought I’d share.
2002-03-27 22:54:48 – cosmosmoon
I can back that up. I’ve witnessed some very interesting wrestling matches around here…..although, there’s no denying it takes 2+ to tango…..
2002-03-27 22:54:56 – tony
i saw randal pump a empty watermelon rind full of his "essence" i spent 2 weeks in a catatonic state after this sometimes, when i see old movies where the country folk are all sitting around eating watermelon, i shiver and mumble "no mother nature, noooo!"
2002-03-27 22:57:18 – keener2u
Sorry last post of mine is because Ben wishes I was a gay and he had to humor himself…
2002-03-27 22:58:21 – rand0m
Keener, are you one of Ben’s illustrious gay concubines? Yes, Ben, you do suck. πŸ˜€
2002-03-27 22:58:51 – fourdegrees
ok fine, but why not pass up the pumpkins that don’t rate instead of carrying them around and then ditching them. see, when dating a pumpkin, you do your best (inadvertently or not) to make it think it’s a 9+. so when this pumpkin gets dropped, you end up with the shredding and sauteing, etc… isn’t it best to let a sleeping pumpkin lie?
2002-03-27 22:59:22 – tony
just thought i’d share with you… randal is hollowing out a cucumber and he’s doing these wierd squats hmmmm?
2002-03-27 23:00:03 – keener2u
Not that I know of…but just wait in about 10 minutes another one will be over…
2002-03-27 23:00:44 – Burnz
World according to Burnz: There are users and there are usees. Users look for someone that is "fun" that they can suck the life out of until they get bored and then the bottom drops out of what the perfectly nice usee thought was a budding "romance." I hate both genders that play this bullshit game. Kill the pumpkin bitch. I like saying that. I love you Ben. I couldn’t help it. And I heard you talking about whatever her name was last week that "got complicated". You could be a player. But rand0m is a good guy and has my vote!
2002-03-27 23:04:27 – fourdegrees
woah, how bass ackwards is that? h0rn d0g is a nice guy and church boy is the player? are you on crack? ha oh, wait. what about multiple pumpkins?
2002-03-27 23:05:26 – Ben
Keener, you’re right. You figured me out. I love you. Your farts are like perfume to me. And remember that time in the hot tub when I accidentally brushed your leg, but didn’t say anything? Yes, I was making a pass.
2002-03-27 23:06:47 – fourdegrees
which one of you wants to get bitch-slapped first?
2002-03-27 23:07:30 – keener2u
OMG πŸ˜€ I will always lock my doors and never sleep on my stomach again. With you in there with me.
2002-03-27 23:08:38 – tony
me first
2002-03-27 23:08:41 – tony
me first
2002-03-27 23:08:44 – keener2u
I will go second!!!
2002-03-27 23:10:23 – ben
Keener, that wasn’t me that night. That was Emily. She wants to be your ship wench, and serve you fresh watermelon.
2002-03-27 23:12:25 – cosmosmoon
hey….none of that..I don’t like ships, and I keep the watermelon to myself, thank you.
2002-03-27 23:13:21 – cosmosmoon
However…..seeing as how Ben is a god and all…..or at least a 7.8 pumpkin….
2002-03-27 23:13:57 – tony
Randal is talking about going to the "meat" section at the grocery store. Apparently his hookup behind the "meat counter" has informed him that the "pork tenderloin" is especially rare this evening. Randal is smiling in a most peculiar way and appears to be giddy as a young mature lusty school girl.
2002-03-27 23:14:19 – Burnz
Could do better for a ship wench anyway. Try tony, I hear good things.
2002-03-27 23:16:15 – cosmosmoon
You know this from experience, Burnz?
2002-03-27 23:16:43 – Burnz
Just by reputation, tell them Ben.
2002-03-27 23:26:09 – Ben
It’s ok, Burnz. You don’t have to be ashamed. Tony’s very masculine. I can see how you’d be attracted to him.
2002-03-27 23:30:08 – Ben
Besides, Tony’s not really my type. I prefer, you know, boobs. I’m more into that sort of thing. Wow. Drunken yoga is being performed by people in my house. Scary.
2002-03-27 23:51:41 – tony
What ho there! You think drunken yoga is scary, imagine this: 3 of the people in this house are making "bird" noises and saying "do the boogaloo, do the giraffe" I’m doing all i can not to get a baseball bat and beat the shit out of them!
2002-03-28 00:01:38 – billycorganfan413
The Pumpkins rule! Darcy is my favorite cause she is the cutest but then she quit, el oh el.
2002-03-28 00:13:22 – realbighead
randal, why are all these crackheads posting on your website? and why is tony still talking? and why are we all walking around stroking each other’s penises? Randal’s good people, Matt’s good if scary people, Ben’s good people, and I’m better than all of you, so really, there’s no point to arguing. Ha, I win.
2002-03-28 00:17:03 – rand0m
all the roommates are here posting like mad … and I leave the penis stroking among Ben and Matt and Tony … they all seem to enjoy that quite a bit πŸ˜‰ It has been officially confirmed that Tony never even reads the post or the preceding comments before adding whatever drivle just crossed his mind.
2002-03-28 00:35:35 – keener2u
I am waiting for a woman before any penis stroking happens…..ben scares me…
2002-03-28 18:45:30 – cosmosmoon
Alright, then all of you anti pumpkin people. Here’s something to ponder. Say you’re out in your patch, and you come across a 9 pumpkin, I mean, this is a really great pumpkin, and you like a lot of things about it, but it’s not the absolute best most perfect one for you. Do you take the 9, settle with almost perfect (because, hey, it is pretty good) and live with that, and with the gnawing question of what if you’d stayed in the patch longer and found that 10 pumpkin of your dreams? After a while of this (months? years? decades?) you slowly begin to resent your pumpkin, knowing secretly that it’s what is holding you back from finding that perfect ideal pumpkin, and both of your lives become dragged out and miserable, but you stick with it, because you made a decision, and it’s better than letting the old pumpkin go (e.g. smashing it, and filleting entrails). Is that a better alternative??? I mean, hey, sounds like a terrific way of living to me….
2002-03-28 19:44:31 – rand0m
Although I personally don’t have any problems with always looking out for a better find, I have a pretty tough time with a person callously flitting from one pumpkin to another … I think being kind of picky is beneficial to all parties involved — the relationship, I think, is much more thoroughly enjoyed if both parties know that they weren’t just the next pumpkin in line. Again, my lack of relationship experience gives me no ground to talk from … $.02
2002-03-28 20:02:44 – cosmosmoon
Perhaps rather than callously flitting, one is giving each pumpkin the potential to be that number 10 pumpkin. It’s hard to cast off a pumpkin as not good enough, unless you give it a chance to prove itself.
2002-03-28 21:10:17 – Burnz
Semantics. All I can say is that I would personally strive to avoid fickle *people* that make me wonder everytime they go out whether or not I will get that "Hi darling, calling from my 10 pumpkin’s house." message on my answering machine. I believe in testing, sure, but it sounds to me that you are keeping a bullpen of lesser pumpkins to get by on while you keep looking.
2002-03-28 21:39:09 – Netheus
Ha Ha. I got a #10. Neener neener neener!!!!!
2002-03-29 08:41:53 – rand0m
Ahh, Burnz the wise has much skill in saying what I mean πŸ˜‰ I don’t know if by bullpen you mean multiple people always … I hereby assume that one person can constitute a bullpen. Look at a pitcher, there’s only one of those guys in the bullpen at a time. [looks in the mirror and writes down a big 5]
2002-03-29 16:01:01 – cosmosmoon
The theory behind the whole pumpkin example is that everyone prefers a different kind of pumpkin. No one pumpkin has a set rating. Therefore, if a pumpkin is discarded as only being a 6, for somebody else, it is a number 10. See. It’s a happy theory.
2002-03-29 16:30:09 – realbighead
the pumpkin allegory sucks and you’re all dumb. There, I win again.
2002-03-29 16:34:20 – rand0m
I am sorry to inform you that you suck and that you are dumb, and that in fact, you have not won. Our disclaimer clearly states that no one with "head" in their name can win anything.
2002-03-29 19:55:24 – tony
hey guys, fuck this girl seeking pumpkin shit here are some #10 pumpkins for guys: Ani Difranco, come on dude, she is hot, and hetero now Gina Gershon, see above Drew Barrymore, see above, err nah, fuck it, she did it with that green fuckwad, screw her Jessica, girl i had a crush on in middle school
2002-03-29 23:54:22 – Netheus
I contend that all ministers of the Church of the sub-genius, fruitcakes of the Discordian Cabals, and members of the Ministry of Truth are exempted from this generalization– If you’ve been using the same screen name for 5+ years, you suck. If you own a shirt carrying the FUBAK label, you didn’t get me one, thus, you suck. Wanna get drunk on Easter?
2002-03-30 04:24:21 – Burnz
And so a perfectly nice 6 pumpkin gets ruined and heartbroken by the patch-walker before finding their ten. No one likes an embittered and jaded pumpkin. You try to carve it, but it just smokes like a chimney and wants to be left the hell alone by all the wacky people. Might be time for a new update so we can fight about something that is not this because the victor is quite clear and we are into redundancy. So I will just take my shiny gold medal and move along down the road.
2002-03-30 11:48:12 – cosmosmoon
embittered, jaded and cynical, yet still maintains the ego….amazing…..
2002-03-30 11:51:44 – rand0m
What the hell? That’s how you maintain your ego … obviously you’re not jaded, cynical or bitter enough. πŸ˜‰
2002-03-30 14:32:42 – realbighead
see, when you get jaded, cynical, and bitter, it’s because everyone else sucks. So really, the moreso you get, the better you look comparatively.
2002-03-31 01:48:58 – billycorganfan413
So I take it we’re not talking about the band…are we? shit.
2002-03-31 09:56:36 – Pinky
who the fuck are all these people posting? and boys do the pumpkin thing all the time as well. doesn’t everyone in someway? you could always take a knife to her house…hahaha. anyway, happy easter.
2002-03-31 15:37:47 – realbighead
put up a fucking new post already… this thread is teh suck.
2002-04-01 09:07:14 – Betty
OMG!~There are no words…oh… (I know I’m going to get shit for this, but…)all my boys are 10+ pumpkins! (In my eyes.) love you boys!
2002-04-01 12:03:51 – bastard
April fools m0th3r4uck3r5

Blech, a Crazy Monday

Man, what a freaking crazy Monday. Came in really late, which isn’t so good in it’s own right, and then got to work. First things first, had a conference about Aspen Home Centers’ website and how far I am, and we found out that there is a *ton* of stuff that needs to be done. By tomorrow, 10am. Suck. Then came the network fiasco. Turns out that the construction crew that’s going balls out on a new club / restuarant took out all the power to the basement of our old building. Right where all of our network equipment is. So a good chunk of our customers was toast all day while they’re electrician figured out how to fix it. That sucked. Very busy, lots of unhappy people. Came back to work to find this huge package on my chair … return addressed to my sister in New York. She told me it was coming and informed that it was leather and didn’t know if I had one … well, from that info I figured that it was a leather jacket; much to my gleefull surprise, it’s a leather messenger bag! My laptop fits perfectly, and it makes me look hella upper-class. Mix this, my leather, some khakis and some Docs and you have one swell looking Randal … Thanks Sis! πŸ˜€ Went out to breakfast with my Dad yesterday (he came down from Denver for the weekend) … lots of disheartening family news in Utah — generally, my Uncle sucks and the inheritance is non-existant. Ahh well, was planning on making my own breaks this lifetime πŸ˜‰ Umm … yea, that’s the basic gist. Burnz has a swell update over at MethKitchen.com – highly praised by me … and don’t forget to check out the forum πŸ˜‰ Maybe more later tonight as I espouse my loathing and wreckless disregard for Cold Fusion while simultaneously finishing out a shoddy project in said web-language. CFML – The dumbest, most poorly put together heap of yak-shit ever.

2002-03-26 05:40:56 – Burnz
All right rand0m. I am so envious, I wish I had a purse. Does it have a special compartment for your lipstick? Maybe enough room for emergency tampons? Oh I think I am so funny. But I am identified as male and rumored to have a good post (because it mentions this site) so the ladies will be lining up.
2002-03-26 15:22:06 – Netheus
So what are you going to do with those tampons? And what kind do you use? the small, compact, get your finger dirty O.B., or the oh-my god, did I just stick a broom handel in my woo hoo?! brought to you from every other company? And that lipstick— is it f*ck me red, and was that you I saw out on the corner last night?
2002-03-26 22:14:45 – cosmosmoon
oooh. male? website? where do I sign up?
2002-03-27 02:27:05 – Pinky
dear god, the humor is killing me. JUST STOP. heh
2002-03-27 03:03:34 – Burnz
All new entries must pass an extensive screening process that includes being a woman, knowing you are a woman, and not being a lesbian. You will also be required to fail a urine screening. Gotta weed out those "clean and sober" types. Can’t have that. If you wish to make a donation please send inquiry and contact information to Burnz@getburnzlaid.net. We accept payment in the form of the nasty shuffle, the horizontal mambo, and the freak nasty. Freak nasty, it’s everywhere you want to be. I love the sound of my own text don’t I?
2002-03-27 10:48:33 – tony
Hello everybody, I’m back from Moab, and tonight, I am going to get super helafied drunk as nobody’s bidness. Randal? Matt?
2002-03-27 17:54:24 – keener2u
sweet! After my day of freaking work sounds good to me….stupid security people BLAH!

Another Saturday Morning

You know, there isn’t a whole lot that is worse than a mildly hungover, horny, unable to sleep, aggressive-feeling me. Okay, so we’re partying drinking last night, and the typical fucking thing happens. There I am, drinking, kind of down. No, there is no explanation, fuck you very much. Drink and drink and drink and drink and then all of a sudden, I am passed out somewhere. And everyone is still awake doing their thing, but Mr. Host is drunkenly catching some Zs. And then come whenever the fuck that time comes, everyone gets up and goes. And where’s the kind of host / leader / head guy? That’s right, still passed out on the goddamn couch. So everyone leaves, and then I feel bad. This happens all the motherfucking time and I don’t like it one goddamn bit. Another thing is that when I’m drinking, I get pissed off pretty quickly if I’m not in my typical super-happy mood. For instance, I’m chillin there, doin my thing and Shawn starts frontin. I don’t know what about, probably his girlfriend [he’s a bit testy when it comes to anyone not loving his woman] … anyhow, it was completely small shit, and I felt angry. Weird. I did some yelling last night … that was pretty therapeutic, but it is definitely not so good on the social interaction side. And one last thing that pisses me off is when people come over to drink, they drink and then sit around and sober up enough to go home. What kind of motherfucking bullshit is that. You’d think that people would be able to fucking commit to one goddamn thing, but nOOoOooo, gotta fucking pussy out. Not only do they fucking leave, but they leave while I’m passed out on the goddamn couch … which is wrong, because *they* should *also* be passed out on the goddamn couch. I fucking hate that. And another thing. What the fuck is up wi … grrr … [sigh] … [realizes that this part will get Randal in real life hot water, and avoids it]. I heard the word “cock blocker” come out last night, and all I have to say is that if you’re a motherfucking peice of shit cockblocker you should be taken out back and shot. I fucking hate that. No, not last night so fuck you, just in general. I really, really hate that. I mean, if I get my nuts out of my hands long enough to talk to some girl, the last fucking thing I need is some dude, or fuck that, some fucking chick, to stand in my way. Fuck that. Update – 12:34p – sitting here on the couch, and this quote comes out … “You know [roommate] Matt is a great guy and lots of fun to have around, but he’s just not bitter enough.” LOL … that, coming from me. I guess that sometimes the camaraderie is stronger if the pain-derived bitterness is shared πŸ˜‰ Update – 4:58p – While folding laundy and such, it hit me that this post comes across as wildly disgruntled. I need to make it really clear that I am not ranting about a general thing, and not saying that life sucks by any stretch. In fact, life is great, and things are really, really good. Last night, however, is an isolated incident and does not constitute anything more than a couple hours of whining. Also, the whole goddamn tire thing is really bugging me. I’m so not a man. LOL

2002-03-24 05:49:42 – Pinky
I was talking to my friend today and she mentioned that i was bitter a lot of the time and didn’t understand why…so, randal, i suppose it runs in the ex-highschool group of people, or something. give me input on it, cause i sure as hell couldn’t answer her except for a "isn’t everyone else like that?" apparently they’re not.
2002-03-24 11:17:51 – rand0m
Well, from what I’ve seen among guys is that we’re bitter and cynical because we’ve been burned by a woman with which we’ve had an intimate relationship … the jadedness doesn’t come directly from that, but is more of a side-effect of coping with the situation. With that, I must ask … Laura, has one of your intimate female relationships gone awry? πŸ˜‰
2002-03-24 17:21:11 – pinky
does matt count as a woman? hehe
2002-03-24 22:16:58 – Netheus
Firstly, depends on which Matt… I can think of three Matts that might as well be girls. Secondly, Randal, has it ever occured to you that the drinking might set off a mood swing, or, perhaps, release your repressed emotions. I hate yoko, but f*ck, just go somewhere and start screaming. Think up all the sh^t that pisses you off, and don’t stop yelling till you feel better. And I’ll come over and get drunk with you and pass out on your couch anytime!!!
2002-03-24 23:59:42 – Burnz
You’d better get down with defining which Matt’s you think might as well be girls there missy.
2002-03-25 01:04:14 – keener2u
Eh….*mental note* must work on bitterness.
2002-03-25 17:40:02 – Pinky
indeed, i was referring to the matt hix. not burnz. burnz is about as much female as his mom, which means he has a penis and likes guns :-)
2002-03-25 18:38:05 – Netheus
Hmmm… Definitive List… Hix–f Burnz—m Blum–m Killday–f damn… can’t think of anymore… hate that brain anti-lock brakes thingiee majigger….

I rock, you suck.

you know what? I love rand0m. No, not me. Well, yea, I love me, but not that. The word ‘rand0m’. Man, incredible. I’ve had this nickname for so long, and boy do I love it. I look at some people’s screenames, like “weaksauce02” or “m4dh4x0r23093” and then at the nicks of people that I know and like, such as “insaneblackdog” and “vortex1269” and “pearly8067”. Yea, they’re just names and all, and hell, I wouldn’t mind having the words vortex and 69 associated with me, but come on. I know that it has very, very little to do with a person themselves, and has zero bearing on what they’re like [barring dog boy] … but dammit, it just makes me feel good to know that I have the original, one and only, good-for-always rand0m. w3rd. On another note, went out and saw the Blues Doctors at good old PHS on Saturday night … I went with Tore-dawg and HouseMate-Matt, and Excellent-Emily showed up half way through. We had a really good time, and it kind of pointed out a lot of things. First off, Bridgette Shaulis [sp?] is hottt. High school girls have a couple things going for them — they smell good and are soft & warm. That’s about it though. Not much under the hood. But the headlights are nice. LOL. Anyway, talking to Tore, and he mentioned that he hoped that we weren’t so juvenile when we were in high school. I kind of looked at him, knowing that indeed, we were. I watched the highschool boys fawn over their precious highschool girls, and I watch the girls bounce their tits and flirt, and all I think is “lame.” I remember sitting around trying to be “real.” What a fucking joke. Highschool is bullshit. Yea, it’s great fun and all that, but it’s absolutely nothing compared to after highschool. But I don’t live the normal college life – i.e. I have to pay rent, work et al – so I could be entirely wrong. I really don’t think that post-highschool is anything like highschool in any way, besides maybe the people that you continue to associate with. I’m glad that it’s this way … seeing highschool made me realize how truly young I am – old by HS standards, exceedingly young in Real Life . I gave a speech last night on the United States’ international position in the 21st century … I felt completely unprepared, but I got a 94%. How’s that for whack. I also got a link, thanks to Laura, to a website so full of hatred, loathing and scathing bitterness that I couldn’t stop reading it. As soon as I get the go-ahead to link it, I will post it, and summarily drive shitloads* of traffic to this mostly-unviewed site. (*shitloads = 2+ hits) Update – 03/19/02@7:55p – So I’ve had this pounding headache all day, and I can’t figure out where it came from. And I’m sitting here, eating some sugar-filled things, and it crosses my mind that “sugar is no substitute for caffiene” … this it hits me that I am wildly addicted to my go-juice. Because of this obscene twist of fate, I am going to get some coffee. Luscious, hot, tasty coffee. mmmmmmm. Update – 03/21/02@12:26p – So I got the message back from said website author to not link to his site. He took great offense, and laid down this e-mail about cock-waving and hit comparing and blah blah blah when it had nothing to do with that. I mean, shit, I want to give him traffic, because his site is a good read, and I think my audience would enjoy it. Why? Bitterness, hate, pain, the works — and I know that’s what you guys like, and although he may not think that is what his site is, well … that’s what it is … anyhow, no linky-dink.

2002-03-19 15:10:48 – Burnz
Tore be biggedy back 4 sping br34k? I is off Wednesday and Thursday. We make plans? Maybe with getting drunk? Maybe with getting drunk without involving cops? Lemme know. On another note, I too have seen the cesspool of highschool through the retrospective glasses of an "older" and "wiser" Burnz. There is nothing worthwhile to be said for it. Someday those kiddies will see how pointless and empty it really is and then they too can wallow in bitterness and hopefully self-loathing. In a related story, why is there a deer on the jagermeister bottle?
2002-03-19 15:54:22 – Disco
I see you got your page back up, I’ll have to read through it one of these days when I’m depressed about my life. :) You should of come back, we ended up with like 12 people in there slamming jello shots. And the women were getting kinda liberal about where they let me take jello shots from. Good night all around,, too bad you had to leave.
2002-03-19 16:57:40 – rand0m
yea … would have come back, but I was busy listening to Tony babble on drunkenly while gazing upon this particularly fine girl I know … πŸ˜‰
2002-03-19 17:16:57 – Pinky
ah, randal, as much as i pretend to hate you, you rock :-) i can’t believe you couldn’t staop reading it. i have trouble reading past the first 4 sentences because it’s so petty, but hey!
2002-03-19 18:44:51 – Tony
one word: cujo
2002-03-19 19:48:52 – rand0m
are you saying what I think you’re saying? [starts frontin]
2002-03-19 21:48:47 – Girl
Hey, Good to see the site is back. Loved the "pig ejaculatory specialist" remarks. "Kiddies" your age never cease to fascinate me. And your right, highschool was so banal. Almost like a sad play. Wonder what you’ll think of yourself (as of now) in three or four years. Also your descript nature is so……ongoing. I mailed you a big package on Monday…7-10 day mail. You will love me and/or at least stop hating me for a while. M
2002-03-20 00:14:00 – rand0m
LOL, you’re such a nut sis … I’ve been keeping my eyes open for this mystical package … guess I’ll keep waiting. And I hope that in 4-5 years I contine to be the wonderful man that I am. πŸ˜€
2002-03-20 06:18:38 – Burnz
*Looks foreward on himself looking back at himself and makes eye contact with himself and is awkward because he thinks he is gay now and wants to make hot man love with himself 4 years from now….which is kinda nice because he (I) can do it with little trouble.* And I don’t recall the pig ejaculatory specialist remark. And your search doesn’t work. And I am feeling very fragile right now and would like a little help in remembering where it is. Anyone that specializes in bacon cum is a friend of mine….that makes me want to write a song right after I post long useless comments on rand0m.org. Now seems like a good time.
2002-03-20 09:20:26 – rand0m
Sorry about the search thing being broken … ever since I recoded the site from scratch, a lot of stuff has been broken … I’ll see what I can do about getting the search to work. How does your song go? πŸ˜‰
2002-03-21 00:51:59 – Girl
Burnz: I believe the "bacon cum" remark was on your own site/ methkitchen.com. It was in regards to Rand0m scoring ass. (at least the intellectual attempt, aka rand0m pontificating about scoring.) In an odd way that is such a complement about randy. M
2002-03-21 01:41:38 – Tony
complement or compliment?
2002-03-21 02:35:58 – Burnz
Compliment. And Methkitchen.com appreciates your patronage.
2002-03-21 16:53:25 – realbighead
Technically, linking is completely legal, with or without his permission. And since I have no doubts about the potential humor of this site, having read a thing or two on it before, I say give him the finger and link anyways. Share the pain, dontcha know.p
2002-03-21 22:27:07 – Tony
If linking is "completely legal", why was google just recently forced to remove a large majority of links to a site containing church of scientology data? http://slashdot.org/yro/02/03/21/0453200.shtml?tid=99 And what about 2600 magazine being sued for linking to sites containing DeCSS code where they went all the way to an appeals court to try and be able to link? This is all of course under the bullshit fruitbasket law that is otherwise known as the DMCA law. But fuck that, I want to see this inate bullshit! What are the chances the author of the web page has "gobs of cash for legal representation?"
2002-03-22 03:04:12 – Pinky
"So, I e-mailed Randal again, and said that if putting my link on his site was going to be a mean spirited action, then it would be nice if he didn’t. I told him to make the judgment. He decided not to put it on his site." so, it’s randal’s judgement call…….yeah. and i might be going fucking nowhere for break now…thanks to fucking people who are unreliable. if you want to lend me your car for a week, so i can go see three good friends and get out of colorado, let me know.
2002-03-22 14:19:47 – realbighead
DeCSS linking was illegal because DeCSS was illegal, not because 2600 didn’t have permission to link. And Google wasn’t forced to, they decided to because grief linking pisses people off, not cuz it’s illegal… plus, there’s a court case with the actual church of scientology (not just the website ownder) to make them put the links back on. The DMCA doesn’t prevent people from linking; proper linking falls under fair use. Stealing their content or presenting it in a fashion they don’t allow (reformatting, archiving links to image files normally presented in some other fashion, framing their content in your own, et al) doesn’t, and is therefore prosecutable. You can get the DMCA text at "http://www.eff.org/IP/DMCA/hr2281_dmca_law_19981020_pl105-304.html" if you wanna check it out… interesting, albeit long, read.

Sheer Brilliance

Man, so it’s been a crazy couple of days. Went to work on Wednesday morning around 8:30, and didn’t leave until about 5:15am today [thursday]. Now, I know you’re not thinking “why were you there so long” but are actually thinking “why did you leave!?” Well, around 5:15am, about 80% through our mail / sql / dns server migration, Jack pulls my insanely driven gogogo-ness up short and tells me that we have to stop and button everything up before the business day starts [still ~3 hours away]. I am most definitely in the zone, and inform him that I can guarantee that we will be done by 7am. 100%, bet my life on it. I’m so into getting this thing done that I’m frothing. And he says “no, we’re not doing it, period.” I disagreed. And then we started arguing, voices got loud, and we both got mad as hell. So, instead of coming to blows, I left. Yup, you heard me right. I walked out of my job, mid company-crippling project. I went for a walk at 5:15 am, and it was cold as hell. I finally calmed down a bit, and went back to work to try and pick up where I left off. I go up there, and Jack tries to get me to talk about the little spat, and it mind-fucked me. All of a sudden, I stopped thinking, and I could only conjure up thoughts of “get the fuck out of here.” So I got my stuff and left. Seriously, mid conversation, grabbed my fleece, my laptop, and walked out. I went home, and sat downstairs, trying to take a nap, but I couldn’t. No sleep. None. So I laid there, wide awake, and at about 8:20am, I get a call from work, saying “Randal, everything is broken. Please come in.” So I took a shower, called in, and went to work – and spent the whole day fixing the huge fuckup that came from the ball being dropped. There are a couple things that this whole situation has brought up, none of which are super great. The first off is that there is an authority conflict between Jack and I, which isn’t good. Also, it shows that the company is painfully dependent on me. Although this is good for job security, this event highlighted it, and as such, I’m sure HPI will go out of it’s way to *not* be dependent on prone-to-walk-out me. The whole thing kind of stinks, and I don’t think I should have done what I did. Thoughts?

2002-03-15 04:08:23 – Burnz
1st – Business that matters – What the dilly with my e-mail you fool? I don’t want to have to execute a deadly eye-gouging manuver on you. 2nd – I say you did the right thing. You were busting your ass for these people and it is gaining you a solid reco from a business that you yourself say is barely keeping afloat. You aren’t raking in the dough or anything, and it ain’t that hot for your resume. So if Jack wants to be up in your face waving his dick around, then you do the same thing. Disagree whole heartedly if you think you can do it. People need adversity. And they know you’re valuable. You’ll be fine. Don’t trip about it. And fix my damn e-mail. People that are actually important are suffering here.
2002-03-15 12:58:22 – rand0m
hey, don’t complain — both you and I are not on the paying list of people who get their e-mail working ASAP πŸ˜‰ Thanks for the support, though πŸ˜€
2002-03-16 00:31:09 – rand0m
FYI Burnzy-wurnzy, the webmail is up at http://webmail.methkitchen.com … just login with your normal UID/PWD and you should be good to go. w0o!
2002-03-17 01:44:02 – tony
now listen… so you recognize what is missin… i know you motherfuckers think you know but you don’t fries, party, liqour, and hoes so now you know that’s what we got, so now you know mmm, good
2002-03-17 02:53:09 – tony
what the fuck did i say like that time, woah
2002-03-19 04:34:44 – pinky
yeah, so, can someone think of a fucking excuse that doesn’t need any sort of proof to explain why i haven’t been to class in three weeks and haven’t written the paper due in a few hours? fuck.

Survey and Lyrics

Okay, so all these damn survey thingies came my way, so I thought I’d make up one of the 10-question bad boys … http://friendtest.com/viewquiz.php?account=randalk Put your comments below and stuff. And dammit, I don’t care if you don’t think it’s worthy of this magical site, post your shit. I’m tired of having no comments. Fuckers. Also, was sitting around listening to some Reel Big Fish with Matt, and heard these lyrics: “I try to fuck the bitches but the bitches won’t fuck – me. Fuck me. They duck me, sucks to be me.” I laughed, cuz it’s kinda true. Goddamn bitches. Grr. Again, Bicardi Silver rocks the house. And Sombreros are a pretty good way to go through Kahlua and Tequila. Which reminds me that we’re doing a big server migration today. w0o!

2002-03-13 01:26:46 – tony
We got a punching bag at the house. A couple of us have been hitting it the last few days, and it’s a pretty good workout. I’m probably going to Utah for spring break for some mountain biking goodness. And if my little brother shows up some snowboarding goodness. Damn, Colorado living rocks! (p.s. Miller High Life also rocks)
2002-03-13 03:12:56 – red5
jesus randal. I only knew you for a semester. You never talked about you fucking dog, now did you? I hate you still
2002-03-13 08:06:41 – rand0m
HAHAHA, at least you didn’t get a zero. This little quizzy thing makes me realize that nobody knows me. LOL. However, I am rockin the house on the quizes that I’ve taken for other people. I guess I’m just one of those super-great guys πŸ˜‰
2002-03-13 12:26:45 – realbighead
now that I took it for myself (fuck you, whoever decided to use "bighead" for their name… retard), I think I win. Haha. I think I even got his dog’s name right. That makes a 90 for realbighead, thank you very much… and you claim no one knows you. you international man of mystery you.
2002-03-13 12:26:45 – realbighead
now that I took it for myself (fuck you, whoever decided to use "bighead" for their name… retard), I think I win. Haha. I think I even got his dog’s name right. That makes a 90 for realbighead, thank you very much… and you claim no one knows you. you international man of mystery you.
2002-03-13 12:27:08 – realbighead
how did I manage to double-post that one? arugh?
2002-03-13 13:21:54 – rand0m
Probably very not-carefully. heh … and yes tore, I’m surpised that you know me so well πŸ˜‰
2002-03-14 14:27:41 – Burnz
I got the first 60. Your damn right I am a mad fly ho-pimper. I guessed for at least 7 of those questions though. And by 7 I mean 9. See, you people talk, but it is hard as hell to pay attention to your shitty little lives. Dogs names and trucks years. And yet I know when rand0m last got laid. And I did mean antonyms on the last post. I need to go back to school.

Oh my, another one gone

Another example of how mindless I am: rand0m: so yea rand0m: ditched speech rand0m: and got out of poli.sci hella early. rand0m: that was good. rand0m: rest of the day was pretty blah. and why am I typing this here? rand0m: should be in the admin section of the site. LOL. rand0m: my, self-dialog is fun. Doesn’t that just inspire you? I know that whenever I drone on and on mindlessly, and then comment on them to myself, I feel like I am affirming my sanity. On another note, Toshiba has a laptop the rocks the fucking house. Tim, one of the non-punk-ass geekpad guys, pointed it out to me … it’s quite a bit cheaper than the Dells I’ve been looking at, and is at least comparable. On a different note, I am having some problems with the woman thing. The amount of random hookups has increased exponentially sinced I moved in here, but sadly, the number of actual good relationships has not. Well, I mean, the guys here rock, and I feel like I’m on some good wavelengths with the housemates [you guys rock the fucking house!], everything that has to do with “real” stuff just isn’t there. And it’s starting to suck. Oh well, guess I’d better go drown these feelings of sorrow in sex, alcohol and rock and roll. Disclaimer time: for the record, Emily is not a bitch. Or cold and heartless. Or even a bad person. In fact, she really rocks. So when I make apparently disparaging remarks, I am actually just lying through my teeth in an attempt to vent my own pitiful, miserable frustration. Capice-a-corn? Having some issues with that logo contest from forever ago. Turns out that Dilun Ho ganked Steve Chapin’s mountain and submitted it as his own. Hashing out the issues here, and have a pretty suh-weet one in place. Oh, and I highly recommend Bicardi Silver to anyone who is interested in a scrumptious, citrus-y malt liquor. Goes down easy, and only like 10 proof, too! Mas Manananana~!

2002-03-12 05:22:07 – Burnz
Fuck you and your ability to drink without involving the police. Burnz:I looked up "non-punk-ass geekpad guys" it just said "see nonexistant also: immaterial, fictitious, and stoned. Acronyms: Useful people, guys that have sex with women, and alligators." Burnz:Alligators? Burnz:Yeah, alligators, and that acronym was pretty blah. Burnz:And my disclaimer:for the record, I actually don’t like the geekpadites, and so I am telling the complete and honest truth. Please take to heart my animosity because I was the one that turned them down. So I don’t have any miserable frustration. Oh lord I am tired.
2002-03-12 09:56:00 – rand0m
I don’t follow the acronym part, but that may just be because I’m falling down stupid. As for miserable frustration, I have plenty laying around, should I share? Hell, I could sell this shit — I’m sure there are some youngins out there who would be willing to buy their teen angst from me.
2002-03-12 10:02:58 – realbighead
I think he meant antonym. based on the fact that the two terms "useful people" and "non-punk-ass geekpad guys" are being compared, I can come to no other conclusion than that he meant them to be opposed, instead of one being an abbreviation of the other. For the record: never ever ever do a Hindu pushup if you can avoid it. God I am sore.
2002-03-12 10:38:11 – tony
damn tore you sure as shit couldn’t get me to do a hindu pushup i like my shoulders and collarbone in one piece
2002-03-12 13:07:53 – rand0m
After looking up Hindu Pushups, Tony sent me this link, which makes them look terribly sucky — go here, and scroll down to "Hindu Pushups": http://www.cbass.com/Furey.htm [moans in agony]

General News

So I hadn’t drank anything for a whole week until last night. I kind of took a “won’t drink until Saturday” approach to avoid being classified as an alcoholic. Anyhow, so yea, I got really, really, really drunk last night and watched some movie. Oh right, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Then we got more drunk. And then we decided to go to some CC parties, so we did. Attended one, and it was really hoppin, then went over and picked up Emily (not quite sure how I feel about that, what with getting shot down), and went to another party, but then she got tired / not drunk / whatever and left. Tony and I went to Denny’s and met up with Matt and Paul, then went home and passed out. Quite a good night. Kinda tired today, though. Got an unexpected phone call on Friday night from this girl at school named April. She rang me up and came over, showed her the place, blah blah blah. Then wewent over to her place, and then to her friends place, where we played poker and these three dudes smoked a *HUGE* blunt. Cigar size, fucking monstrous. Anyhow, Friday night was really fun as well. Saw my dad the next morning, cuz he came down from Denver and we went and had breakfast together. I have to say it again — my Dad fucking rocks. Other misc news … there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll be buying another laptop; this one is having some whack power issues, and it’s just getting slow. Hopefully work will chip in a little and help me out. Also, got a new cell phone number — all you peepz out there can hit me up at 719.287.4741. The old number is still active, but is just a forward to the new one. Other than that, I think I’m gonna buy a receiver and a futon cover today. That’s about it :-) [b]Update[/b] – 11:15p – 03/10/02 :: Do any of you guys have any opinions on what kind of laptop I should go after? I’m thinking a Dell Inspiron, cuz they have that 1600×1200 screen. [orgasm here]. Also, I got a futon cover, gotta wash it though. Oh yea, ideas on where to get a decent mid range reciever? I’m thinking pawn shops.

2002-03-11 15:13:39 – Burnz
April from the waterfountain April? And any department store or Electronics outlet like Circuit City should have mid-range receivers. Don’t quote me on that exactly, because I don’t shop at Circuit City. Pawn shops are nice if you are buying ammo, things with serial numbers filed off, or want something with a tell-tale bloodstain otherwise I wouldn’t recommend them. But if you must, go with the ones that also offer loans, bail bonds, and have the fliers to strip clubs wallpapering the window.
2002-03-11 15:20:36 – rand0m
yea, waterfountain April. And about the whole pawn shop thing … you can’t beat their I-cut-his-throat-and-stole-it prices. And there’s some good stuff, usaully … hrmm … Oh, about the laptops … I want one with 1600×1200 res πŸ˜‰
2002-03-11 16:33:02 – tony
Check out the soundshop, over on cimarron and tejon corner. They’ve got high end receivers and they also have occasional good deals on used equipment. Kurt tells me you find the philipino guy and he will sometimes cut a deal with you.

Changing things (wildly offensive?)

Okay, so I’m sitting around and thinking about some stuff, and I figure out that not only have not received a haircut or replaced my trucks headlight or even bought the futon cover, but I realized that people and relationships change — and also tell you a lot about that person. I’m just going to kind of run through these badboys… Okay, the first group of people are obviously the dudes at thegeekpad. I mean, those are all pretty alright guys, except for when you happen to step on their toes a bit. Now, everyone expects some discomfort, but come on. First they get all pissy at my “no I won’t moderate your news/comments to protect illegal activity” thing, and then they get all mad as hell when one of them gets fucked because of their admitted blinding stupidity. I thought that Craig, for instance, was a pretty good guy. I enjoyed his company and stuff, but alas, that’s no more. Same goes for Ray. Kinda the same goes for Kurt, but Kurt’s a lot more easy going than the previous 2. And that right there kind of highlights shit. I mean, why hasn’t Pat shown up and spewed shit? It could have something to do with the fact that it’s rand0m.org, or it could be that he doesn’t need to say anything. Same goes for Tim — where the hell is he? Why does it seem like the only people actively bitching are the lackeys of the house? Very odd how such nice, enjoyable people can turn into real assholes. Kinda makes you think, huh? Okay, I’m going to avoid the next changing person, because the whole “her and I” thing has been beat to death. Let it be known that she is now an Ice Queen at least 64% of the time. At least she thanked me for the birthday card and seemed pleased to speak to me today. w3rd. Okay, next is Steve, Tore and Matt. Now, these three guys are radically different. I mean, Tore is a hippy at a liberal arts college, and Matt throws boxes at Wally-World and Steve is a computer dude. The relationships I have with them are pretty similar though; although removed distance-wise, it seems like there is a pretty close connection. Not as much with Tore, because we don’t speak / type a lot, but it’s still there cuz of the history. It’s kinda weird how the relationships go from “yea, randal’s a good guy” to “randal’s a philandering ass” to “randal has at least gotten some tang”. I know I have changed, and I know both of them have changed, but I think of all of them the same way — Tore and Steve as the immovable, warm & fuzzy, bend-over-backwards always there type, and Matt as the never-will-betray-you, stunningly blunt yet enjoyable listener type. Oddly enough, those two people have held the position in my life, and our relationships haven’t changed that much: matured, but not changed much. I like them. I was gonna put Laura in here (and Emily, for that matter), but I have to go to class soon. I’ll probably update and put her in, but the gist is that she’s changed a bunch, and I still enjoy her company, but her idealogy seems to be a huge stumbling block in our friendship. I’m pretty sure that’s my problem, though, because I’m “male” and “closed-minded”. LOL. Laura and I were pretty good friends in highschool, and I’d like to think we’re pretty good friends now. Problem is, though, that both of us have changed quite a bit since highschool. Well, I’d like to think that I’m not the same guy, but that’s probably not true. So, in effect, Laura (not me) has changed since then. She is a lot more vocal and active about her opinions now than ever before, and simply because hers don’t coincide with mine, any sort of conversation we have (which invariably ends up in politics) quickly goes to shit. I think she cares a lot more about people and things that are not herself than I do … it might just be our train full of baggage, or it could just be different views, but there’s some relationship tension … I don’t know if it’ll ever work itself out, but in the meantime, it’s nice to know that I can, at any given time, say that I have a friend with bright pink hair. Not going to say anything about Emily, cuz there’s not much left. hrmph. >-| So yea, people change. It’s pretty crazy to see how quickly (less than a day!) and wildly a person’s view will swing to the extreme, and consequently how quickly they’ll treat you like shit. Never seems to work that way to the good side of things. Wouldn’t it be super awesome if an intelligent, attractive, rand0m-luvin 19 year old woman became a super-good-friend in less than 4 hours? That would rock the house.

2002-03-07 18:07:14 – tony
about the post, whatever… anyway c&c renegade is the shit
2002-03-07 18:26:18 – rand0m
HAHAHA, Burnz, I knew this would happen: I have come to realize that my content doesn’t mean anything and that people come here solely for the purpose of reading whatever staggeringly irrelevant comments that happen to get posted.
2002-03-07 22:30:05 – realbighead
why do you universalize "tony" to "people"? some of us read all the content. which includes comments. and suggesting that I come here to read tony’s posts is just wrong. although watching craig try to cock-fight is funnier than anything you’ve ever written. Not that you can’t write funny shit, but craig preening himself is about as funny as things get.
2002-03-08 12:05:38 – tony
it’s simple really, i read the post, and it’s stuff i hear anyway, it talks to a lot of people, with the exception of ‘tony’ so, i don’t see myself in this post about people changing, well, i guess i haven’t changed then right? so you see what i’m saying, it’s not the end-all definitive answer to life, so yeah, about the post, whatever… hey, c&c renegade is the shit
2002-03-08 12:28:34 – Siaokh
I’m here… alive and breathing… i just prefer to lurk. **lurkmode on** -Tim
2002-03-08 13:04:56 – click
I had things to say, and now i’m done.
2002-03-10 00:00:58 – rand0m
HEY FUCK YOAU ALL FUCK YOU IF YOU DON’T LEIKT TEH SHIT FUCK YOU.HAHHAHAHAAHA WOOO UNIVEFRASLIE TEH TONY TO THE PEOPLE CUZ IT ROCKS WOOO
2002-03-10 09:53:23 – tony
dude! this vent fucking rocks! damn, we were drunk, hella drunk! hey, wanna go to 7-11? cool!

Back In Business

Not only has my life continued on without this interweb thing for a whole month, it has prospered in many ways. It has also really, really fucking sucked. My life has been great recently. I mean, it’s really, really great. I moved! I now live right downtown, a mere 6 or 7 blocks from work and school. I don’t drive very much at all anymore, even though I still have my license — thanks to a very nice District Attorney, I got off really light — in fact, driving kind of makes me feel funny πŸ˜‰ The house that I live in is filled with a couple guys who are all really great. Matt, Ben & Shawn all rock … we don’t fight, we don’t sit around and bitch, nobody is an asshole. From what I can see, it’s waaay better than any of the similar ‘house-full-of-guys’ situations that I see around. Work has also exploded … tons and tons of new business makes for not much free time at work anymore; that’s quite alright, though, because I love what I do. My grandmother died on Saturday the 16th. I flew to Utah, saw the funeral, saw the whole family, the whole shebang. It really wasn’t that bad. No disrespect to my grandmother, but it was actually a pretty good time — got to see some family that I haven’t seen in a long time, and just generally got to enjoy everyone’s company: even my parents’. That’s a funky thing … I move out, and all of a sudden, my parents like me. They want to spend time with me. They want to make sure I’m doing okay. They want me to take everything they have to ensure my own success. It’s quite the change from how it’s been for the past … 19 years. It’s nice, though. Just about everything rocks — school is great, work is great, home is great, life is great. There are some things that aren’t so great, though. For instance, one of the headlights on my truck went out. And … umm … I still owe Tony some $ for the 46″ Sony TV that I bought from him [which is in the living room at the house], and he’s pretty anal when it comes to money — more so than even me πŸ˜‰ Other things that suck … umm … I got shot down by a lady-friend when I tried to woo her. That wasn’t very much fun. On the other hand, things are going well with a school-female-friend [even though there’s no real potential], so I guess that balances out. I can’t complain about money, because I have enough. Oh wait, I need a cover for my futon. That’s a sucky thing. Oh, and a torch lamp, I don’t have one of those … but I can take care of those two things so they are no longer sucky. I can’t really complain about much else, because everything is going so well. On the website side of things, yes, it’s back. Very few of the links work right now, because all the pages have to be retooled to fit the new rand0m’s Content Management System [rCMS] function libraries. rCMS not only makes things waaay easier from a coding standpoint, but also allows a lot more flexibility — for example, you’ll be able to make your own color scheme for the site! The rest of the sidebar content here will be up in the next few days, and will also be completely arrangeable / selectable according to your user preferences [if you opt to create an account (not available yet)]. So that’s the whole deal. The site is back, as is the meaningless, ever-repeating crap that is posted here on a continuous basis. Enjoy :-)

2002-03-01 17:30:03 – Your Fans
We still love you rand0m!
2002-03-01 18:58:46 – Master Ha-reed
Ahh.. thats more like it. I was tired of looking for other ways to waste my time πŸ˜‰
2002-03-01 19:06:29 – Captain Spectacular
Well, I for one am very happy to see the site back up. It is by far the 1st site I goto when I am trying to procrastonate. W3rd up dooder. So Im assuming that you want that link of of the gzcs site again? Let me know. Glad its back up, b.
2002-03-03 02:58:52 – realbighead
umm… yer HTML looks all messed up on my box… comment boxes slowly start indenting, but every line of comment text after the first (for each comment) doesn’t… everything in the main section starts about 2 pages scrolled down, with lots of black above it… and I dunno how well your favorite blue goes with the gray/black thing… Oh, and I’m glad the site’s back up, even though that last few sentence fragments may make it seem otherwise… just aiding you in your quest for leet PHP.
2002-03-03 10:03:52 – rand0m
The backend code is plenty leet, but the actual HTML itself probably sucks. I tried to do it straight CSS, and it comes kinda close, but it doesn’t even come near validating at w3c. I’ll work on it some more this week and figger it out.
2002-03-03 23:12:03 – click
Why’d you delete my post and ban my ips randall? Don’t want anyone to know what you did? or why the site was really brought down? I wonder why you didn’t argue my post with me if something was incorrect…well then.. I have plenty of ips so ban on!
2002-03-04 00:37:18 – rand0m
Just to get you to shut up, I’ll reply. If Pat was so "not wrong" in doing what he did, then why did he lose his job? And right, did anyone at FrontRange ever speak to me? Nope. Did they speak to the HPI CSO? Yup. To me? Nope. As for why the site was really brought down, it’s because Pat wanted to show off — I’m surprised that the coworker he was schmoozing didn’t get fired as well. And I won’t argue with you simply because you have no ground to stand on — obviously Pat’s word isn’t as golden as we’d all like to think, considering that he *got fired* because of *evidence* … companies don’t just get rid of their good employees for no reason. btw, it’s one L.
2002-03-04 08:17:14 – click
oh ya he wanted to show off by posting to a link you gave him! that would be really cool! And there is a thing right now called a recession where comanies are just looking for people to get rid of cause then they won’t have to pay any kind of severance, who know? you don’t know for sure and either do i, but his company did have 2 major layoffs after he left, and i’ll have you know he wrote 90% of the codebase for frontrange.com received awards for the site and was in the product development team designing web applications for their products! he was very missed after he left, i know that. ur right he probably was in the wrong. But its ur fucking "my kitty" page and you went all corporate at him, give me a fucking break. If you would have settled it like a man to his face no problems, I imagine we all would prolly be friends still, but you go hide behind your CSO and have them call his company, thats BS.
2002-03-04 08:18:31 – docta
We still love you rand0m!
2002-03-04 08:34:17 – click
LOL
2002-03-04 15:57:52 – rand0m
Oops, I deleted tony’s comment. I feel so sheepish. Sorry :-/
2002-03-04 22:55:16 – tony
randumb, stop deleting my posts please.
2002-03-05 01:06:41 – md5 tony
woah, who is tony that calls randal randumb anyway, i’m home, it’s 110 and we are watching jet li’s the one… i’m listening to shoutcast of a drum and bass stream… i’ve still got scars from this mountain biking accident, and i want to go snowboarding soon, again, maybe in a tree trail, see how it goes… just finished a shot of tequila… my computer hasn’t crashed once this evening which is awesome… I’m looking at deals for spring break at breckinridge, probably gonna ride a few days up there… and probably catch a day at copper mountain while i’m at it… school is going good, but is boring, and i have to resist the temptation to skip class and drink beerz down at the pub… that and I have to be at work at 8am, dressed in a fucking tie and ready for work, but caffeine will probably take care of that
2002-03-05 03:37:47 – Burnz
What the hell happened to my comment? Goddamn it. IT is just this kind of shenanigans that will cause a boycott.
2002-03-05 15:24:25 – rand0m
nOoOOooo, please don’t leave! I’m sorry! So Sorry! I’ll never fuck up again! nOoo!
2002-03-06 02:12:29 – xeon
Quote: "LOL … the amount of functionality between my site and yours is night and day." I like how your site doesn’t even pass w3c. Mine LoL!!! Ohh yeah and if you were any gud programmer you would be able to create a multi-tiered websites that generate on the fly flash graphs using data gathered from another machine. And what is this rCMS? Whoa! A content manager, too bad my site has been using something similar since day one. Maybe before you go trashing other peoples work you should learn more about it. Whatever. And I ban me. I don’t need to work at an ISP to post. I use proxies. Ohh yeah quit messaging me after I block you.. that is just annoying and childish.
2002-03-06 02:16:43 – Spell Checker
Mine does* LoL!!!
2002-03-06 03:08:15 – Burnz
*gets out his Craig Bat*. Sad thing here, Xeon, is that even rand0m bitching about his mother is better content than your site could muster on it’s best day. Chew on all the straws you like, you got nothing to say that is interesting enough to warrant a whole site no matter how l33t you seem to think your web design skills are. And don’t come to a site you are talking about "banning yourself" from. It is just childish. And my site uses those little brackety things. So ha Mr. Design Guru. Suck my E-Cock…again. By the way, hows my baby?
2002-03-06 04:29:45 – Captnspectacular
Rand0m, you should make a favicon…that would show those bastards… 😐
2002-03-06 05:12:35 – rand0m
Xeon: first off, it is – your life sucks and is boring. Secondly, yes, my site *is* w3c compliant — click the little links and take a gander. rCMS is just name that I made up for the engine that runs the site – never meant to imply that it’s godlike or anything, just that it now has a name. Also, rand0m.org originally had a content-managing system long before your site ever became a reality. And OMG, "multi-tiered graphs from remote machines"! http://traffic.hpi.net/hpi … would you like to throw some more buzzwords in? Maybe some "scalable" or "enterprise ready" or "interoperable" or even "n-teir collaboration." I don’t think you’ve noticed, but very few people care about you. All I have to say is that I am not surprised that such an obviously educated, "gud" computer guy like yourself would not be able to land or keep any sort of job that compensates you with a pittance that would cover rent. I mean, jesus, not being in school, not having many friends, not having any sort of activities, I figure there would be very little to spend money on besides survival. I guess your astounding skills are way too advanced for any sort of "real life" job. I sincerely hope that your weak ass enjoys moving back in with mommy and daddy in Denver.
2002-03-06 09:55:04 – realbighead
am I the only one not bashing craig right now? scratch that, craig is teh suxx0r.
2002-03-06 10:00:05 – kurty
Alright, My Kitty Website to My Kitty Website fisticuff fighting. Would you guys mind if we got an event at Acacia Park going on for this. I got $5 that the cops break up the fight, and take your asses to jail before anyone breaks a bone.
2002-03-06 12:08:25 – Xeon
Burnz: Believe what you want. Or just visit http://xeon.xoverzero.com/comment.cfm?content=112 third post from the bottom. Randal: "not having many friends" – correction. Not having many friends that "like" randal. You have no idea how many people in Colorado Springs want to kick your despise your existance. You are lucky they don’t know where you live. Isn’t it great when someone sticks to their "word?" Unlike some people I know, I don’t backstab. You see, the nice thing about moving to a city where no one knows who you are, you just start out with no enemies. Its wonderful that you stup MRTG in win2k. OMG point and click. Open in notepad. You are the coolest. I know girls are lining up outside for you at this very moment while you lay tables and try to "woo them." I so wanna be like you when I grow up. You are obviously the smartest person alive and are near god-like. And if content mangament design and buzzwords are all you have going maybe it’s a good (gud for shorthand) thing you go back to college – I applause you. Maybe you should try sucking less cock and grow up. I guess that phrase "grow up" isn’t in your dictionary. On the living at home topic: You really don’t have room to talk about living with your parents, considering I have been living on my own now for almost a year and a half – Newbie. Did I mention that I still have my drivers license? I am done with this cock fight. Oh no I think I just got banned from this website *shocked*. Ohh wait I am already banned.
2002-03-06 12:26:09 – Burnz
Xeon = Pathetic. Can we talk about something else now? Like kitty-cats. Or perhaps a heated discussion on the finer points of something interesting….like me.
2002-03-06 17:01:34 – kurty
I hear BURNZ chugs HUGE ASSCOCK!
2002-03-06 17:37:31 – Burnz
Just my own, kurty. And that was because you kept doing it wrong. While it was nice of you to pay for the experience, I need to get off. Consider this me dumping you. But for the sake of your next lover: Make an appointment with the dermatologist.
2002-03-06 21:11:35 – realbighead
wow, this is turning into the old IBu mailing list, except craig sucks more than anyone on that list did. Even the weird french guy who just randomly posted.
2002-03-07 13:26:19 – kurty
Dude, ASS means DONKEY, man you’re dumb.
2002-03-07 14:13:19 – realbighead
man, haven’t seen anyone misinterpret those two for the sake of humor since 3rd grade. congrats kurty, you’re giving everyone flashbacks.
2002-03-07 15:37:01 – Burnz
I know, I have a huge donkey cock. So you still manage to stay inferior to me. Thumbs up though, dipshit.
2002-03-07 16:37:14 – rand0m
LOL — you guys are hilarious πŸ˜€