Okay, so I’m out with Ben the other night, who, I might add, is the God of the house in that no woman can withstand his manliness for more than a few minutes without falling in love with him and that no man can dislike him simply because he is too nice, and we went to Wendy’s. Good trip. Come back, and there’s this girl waiting for Ben. Outside. In the cold. I couldn’t believe that he has women lining up like this. I shook my head and went to where it’s warm, while silently crying inside. This is when it hit me that I have lost all hope of any real relationship. Now, mind you, this may not be such a bad thing. Having many anonymous partners while occasionally dabbling in inebriation may sound like a good thing, but I’ll tell you, it’s not the best thing in the world by any stretch … [priss mode] in fact, the lack of emotional fulfillment just gets me down [/priss mode]. But that’s neither here nor there, because I supplant my lack of female real-luvin with doing exceedingly well in every other area of my life. I mean, shit, look at Huge TV, or the receiver, the nice place, the unending “I am sOo great” … serious, I couldn’t ask for more. Besides maybe a real date. On that note, I was talking to an anonymous female reader, and she tells me that when it comes to men, it’s like she’s walking through a pumpkin patch. Oh, look, a nice pumpkin. I’ll rate this one a 7. Walks along some more … Oh Look! A better pumpkin [promptly rips all vital organs from original pumpkin and fillets them and feeds them to her dog while cackling mercilessly] and then picks up Pumpkin B, which is a 7.9 … walking along, finds a really good pumpkin. Promptly throws Pumpkin B down on the ground and jumps up and down repeatedly, smashing any hopes for Pumpkin B ever having anyone pick his pitiful, sorry ass up, and then picks up Pumpkin C, which is a 9, and says, “Wow, 9 is pretty high.” But nOo, she doesn’t go home, happy with her uber-good 9-rated pumpkin. Nope, just keeps patrolling the patch, looking for that ellusive 10 pumpkin. And when she finds it, poor Pumpkin C is going to have his luscious, golden exterior split into tiny shards by her heart-wrenching, soul-killing, disdain. And this kind of shit is wrong. So all you bitches out there need to stop being so goddamn picky. At least when it comes to me. I may be a 2 or a 3, but dammit, when you’re done using me for pumpkin pie, don’t step on what’s left. Have you ever done something that you figured would land you in hot water and kind of destroy everything that you thought you had going with someone, yet it didn’t really do anything at all, besides make you wonder ‘what the fuck is going on?’ I have, and I’ll tell you, it’s pretty cool. For example, the fight with co-worker Jack not too long ago. Real Effects? None. This kind of thing has happened a couple times in the past month or so … pretty weird.

Man, what a freaking crazy Monday. Came in really late, which isn’t so good in it’s own right, and then got to work. First things first, had a conference about Aspen Home Centers’ website and how far I am, and we found out that there is a *ton* of stuff that needs to be done. By tomorrow, 10am. Suck. Then came the network fiasco. Turns out that the construction crew that’s going balls out on a new club / restuarant took out all the power to the basement of our old building. Right where all of our network equipment is. So a good chunk of our customers was toast all day while they’re electrician figured out how to fix it. That sucked. Very busy, lots of unhappy people. Came back to work to find this huge package on my chair … return addressed to my sister in New York. She told me it was coming and informed that it was leather and didn’t know if I had one … well, from that info I figured that it was a leather jacket; much to my gleefull surprise, it’s a leather messenger bag! My laptop fits perfectly, and it makes me look hella upper-class. Mix this, my leather, some khakis and some Docs and you have one swell looking Randal … Thanks Sis! 😀 Went out to breakfast with my Dad yesterday (he came down from Denver for the weekend) … lots of disheartening family news in Utah — generally, my Uncle sucks and the inheritance is non-existant. Ahh well, was planning on making my own breaks this lifetime 😉 Umm … yea, that’s the basic gist. Burnz has a swell update over at MethKitchen.com – highly praised by me … and don’t forget to check out the forum 😉 Maybe more later tonight as I espouse my loathing and wreckless disregard for Cold Fusion while simultaneously finishing out a shoddy project in said web-language. CFML – The dumbest, most poorly put together heap of yak-shit ever.

You know, there isn’t a whole lot that is worse than a mildly hungover, horny, unable to sleep, aggressive-feeling me. Okay, so we’re partying drinking last night, and the typical fucking thing happens. There I am, drinking, kind of down. No, there is no explanation, fuck you very much. Drink and drink and drink and drink and then all of a sudden, I am passed out somewhere. And everyone is still awake doing their thing, but Mr. Host is drunkenly catching some Zs. And then come whenever the fuck that time comes, everyone gets up and goes. And where’s the kind of host / leader / head guy? That’s right, still passed out on the goddamn couch. So everyone leaves, and then I feel bad. This happens all the motherfucking time and I don’t like it one goddamn bit. Another thing is that when I’m drinking, I get pissed off pretty quickly if I’m not in my typical super-happy mood. For instance, I’m chillin there, doin my thing and Shawn starts frontin. I don’t know what about, probably his girlfriend [he’s a bit testy when it comes to anyone not loving his woman] … anyhow, it was completely small shit, and I felt angry. Weird. I did some yelling last night … that was pretty therapeutic, but it is definitely not so good on the social interaction side. And one last thing that pisses me off is when people come over to drink, they drink and then sit around and sober up enough to go home. What kind of motherfucking bullshit is that. You’d think that people would be able to fucking commit to one goddamn thing, but nOOoOooo, gotta fucking pussy out. Not only do they fucking leave, but they leave while I’m passed out on the goddamn couch … which is wrong, because *they* should *also* be passed out on the goddamn couch. I fucking hate that. And another thing. What the fuck is up wi … grrr … [sigh] … [realizes that this part will get Randal in real life hot water, and avoids it]. I heard the word “cock blocker” come out last night, and all I have to say is that if you’re a motherfucking peice of shit cockblocker you should be taken out back and shot. I fucking hate that. No, not last night so fuck you, just in general. I really, really hate that. I mean, if I get my nuts out of my hands long enough to talk to some girl, the last fucking thing I need is some dude, or fuck that, some fucking chick, to stand in my way. Fuck that. Update – 12:34p – sitting here on the couch, and this quote comes out … “You know [roommate] Matt is a great guy and lots of fun to have around, but he’s just not bitter enough.” LOL … that, coming from me. I guess that sometimes the camaraderie is stronger if the pain-derived bitterness is shared 😉 Update – 4:58p – While folding laundy and such, it hit me that this post comes across as wildly disgruntled. I need to make it really clear that I am not ranting about a general thing, and not saying that life sucks by any stretch. In fact, life is great, and things are really, really good. Last night, however, is an isolated incident and does not constitute anything more than a couple hours of whining. Also, the whole goddamn tire thing is really bugging me. I’m so not a man. LOL

you know what? I love rand0m. No, not me. Well, yea, I love me, but not that. The word ‘rand0m’. Man, incredible. I’ve had this nickname for so long, and boy do I love it. I look at some people’s screenames, like “weaksauce02” or “m4dh4x0r23093” and then at the nicks of people that I know and like, such as “insaneblackdog” and “vortex1269” and “pearly8067”. Yea, they’re just names and all, and hell, I wouldn’t mind having the words vortex and 69 associated with me, but come on. I know that it has very, very little to do with a person themselves, and has zero bearing on what they’re like [barring dog boy] … but dammit, it just makes me feel good to know that I have the original, one and only, good-for-always rand0m. w3rd. On another note, went out and saw the Blues Doctors at good old PHS on Saturday night … I went with Tore-dawg and HouseMate-Matt, and Excellent-Emily showed up half way through. We had a really good time, and it kind of pointed out a lot of things. First off, Bridgette Shaulis [sp?] is hottt. High school girls have a couple things going for them — they smell good and are soft & warm. That’s about it though. Not much under the hood. But the headlights are nice. LOL. Anyway, talking to Tore, and he mentioned that he hoped that we weren’t so juvenile when we were in high school. I kind of looked at him, knowing that indeed, we were. I watched the highschool boys fawn over their precious highschool girls, and I watch the girls bounce their tits and flirt, and all I think is “lame.” I remember sitting around trying to be “real.” What a fucking joke. Highschool is bullshit. Yea, it’s great fun and all that, but it’s absolutely nothing compared to after highschool. But I don’t live the normal college life – i.e. I have to pay rent, work et al – so I could be entirely wrong. I really don’t think that post-highschool is anything like highschool in any way, besides maybe the people that you continue to associate with. I’m glad that it’s this way … seeing highschool made me realize how truly young I am – old by HS standards, exceedingly young in Real Life . I gave a speech last night on the United States’ international position in the 21st century … I felt completely unprepared, but I got a 94%. How’s that for whack. I also got a link, thanks to Laura, to a website so full of hatred, loathing and scathing bitterness that I couldn’t stop reading it. As soon as I get the go-ahead to link it, I will post it, and summarily drive shitloads* of traffic to this mostly-unviewed site. (*shitloads = 2+ hits) Update – 03/19/02@7:55p – So I’ve had this pounding headache all day, and I can’t figure out where it came from. And I’m sitting here, eating some sugar-filled things, and it crosses my mind that “sugar is no substitute for caffiene” … this it hits me that I am wildly addicted to my go-juice. Because of this obscene twist of fate, I am going to get some coffee. Luscious, hot, tasty coffee. mmmmmmm. Update – 03/21/02@12:26p – So I got the message back from said website author to not link to his site. He took great offense, and laid down this e-mail about cock-waving and hit comparing and blah blah blah when it had nothing to do with that. I mean, shit, I want to give him traffic, because his site is a good read, and I think my audience would enjoy it. Why? Bitterness, hate, pain, the works — and I know that’s what you guys like, and although he may not think that is what his site is, well … that’s what it is … anyhow, no linky-dink.

Man, so it’s been a crazy couple of days. Went to work on Wednesday morning around 8:30, and didn’t leave until about 5:15am today [thursday]. Now, I know you’re not thinking “why were you there so long” but are actually thinking “why did you leave!?” Well, around 5:15am, about 80% through our mail / sql / dns server migration, Jack pulls my insanely driven gogogo-ness up short and tells me that we have to stop and button everything up before the business day starts [still ~3 hours away]. I am most definitely in the zone, and inform him that I can guarantee that we will be done by 7am. 100%, bet my life on it. I’m so into getting this thing done that I’m frothing. And he says “no, we’re not doing it, period.” I disagreed. And then we started arguing, voices got loud, and we both got mad as hell. So, instead of coming to blows, I left. Yup, you heard me right. I walked out of my job, mid company-crippling project. I went for a walk at 5:15 am, and it was cold as hell. I finally calmed down a bit, and went back to work to try and pick up where I left off. I go up there, and Jack tries to get me to talk about the little spat, and it mind-fucked me. All of a sudden, I stopped thinking, and I could only conjure up thoughts of “get the fuck out of here.” So I got my stuff and left. Seriously, mid conversation, grabbed my fleece, my laptop, and walked out. I went home, and sat downstairs, trying to take a nap, but I couldn’t. No sleep. None. So I laid there, wide awake, and at about 8:20am, I get a call from work, saying “Randal, everything is broken. Please come in.” So I took a shower, called in, and went to work – and spent the whole day fixing the huge fuckup that came from the ball being dropped. There are a couple things that this whole situation has brought up, none of which are super great. The first off is that there is an authority conflict between Jack and I, which isn’t good. Also, it shows that the company is painfully dependent on me. Although this is good for job security, this event highlighted it, and as such, I’m sure HPI will go out of it’s way to *not* be dependent on prone-to-walk-out me. The whole thing kind of stinks, and I don’t think I should have done what I did. Thoughts?

Okay, so all these damn survey thingies came my way, so I thought I’d make up one of the 10-question bad boys … http://friendtest.com/viewquiz.php?account=randalk Put your comments below and stuff. And dammit, I don’t care if you don’t think it’s worthy of this magical site, post your shit. I’m tired of having no comments. Fuckers. Also, was sitting around listening to some Reel Big Fish with Matt, and heard these lyrics: “I try to fuck the bitches but the bitches won’t fuck – me. Fuck me. They duck me, sucks to be me.” I laughed, cuz it’s kinda true. Goddamn bitches. Grr. Again, Bicardi Silver rocks the house. And Sombreros are a pretty good way to go through Kahlua and Tequila. Which reminds me that we’re doing a big server migration today. w0o!

Another example of how mindless I am: rand0m: so yea rand0m: ditched speech rand0m: and got out of poli.sci hella early. rand0m: that was good. rand0m: rest of the day was pretty blah. and why am I typing this here? rand0m: should be in the admin section of the site. LOL. rand0m: my, self-dialog is fun. Doesn’t that just inspire you? I know that whenever I drone on and on mindlessly, and then comment on them to myself, I feel like I am affirming my sanity. On another note, Toshiba has a laptop the rocks the fucking house. Tim, one of the non-punk-ass geekpad guys, pointed it out to me … it’s quite a bit cheaper than the Dells I’ve been looking at, and is at least comparable. On a different note, I am having some problems with the woman thing. The amount of random hookups has increased exponentially sinced I moved in here, but sadly, the number of actual good relationships has not. Well, I mean, the guys here rock, and I feel like I’m on some good wavelengths with the housemates [you guys rock the fucking house!], everything that has to do with “real” stuff just isn’t there. And it’s starting to suck. Oh well, guess I’d better go drown these feelings of sorrow in sex, alcohol and rock and roll. Disclaimer time: for the record, Emily is not a bitch. Or cold and heartless. Or even a bad person. In fact, she really rocks. So when I make apparently disparaging remarks, I am actually just lying through my teeth in an attempt to vent my own pitiful, miserable frustration. Capice-a-corn? Having some issues with that logo contest from forever ago. Turns out that Dilun Ho ganked Steve Chapin’s mountain and submitted it as his own. Hashing out the issues here, and have a pretty suh-weet one in place. Oh, and I highly recommend Bicardi Silver to anyone who is interested in a scrumptious, citrus-y malt liquor. Goes down easy, and only like 10 proof, too! Mas Manananana~!

So I hadn’t drank anything for a whole week until last night. I kind of took a “won’t drink until Saturday” approach to avoid being classified as an alcoholic. Anyhow, so yea, I got really, really, really drunk last night and watched some movie. Oh right, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Then we got more drunk. And then we decided to go to some CC parties, so we did. Attended one, and it was really hoppin, then went over and picked up Emily (not quite sure how I feel about that, what with getting shot down), and went to another party, but then she got tired / not drunk / whatever and left. Tony and I went to Denny’s and met up with Matt and Paul, then went home and passed out. Quite a good night. Kinda tired today, though. Got an unexpected phone call on Friday night from this girl at school named April. She rang me up and came over, showed her the place, blah blah blah. Then wewent over to her place, and then to her friends place, where we played poker and these three dudes smoked a *HUGE* blunt. Cigar size, fucking monstrous. Anyhow, Friday night was really fun as well. Saw my dad the next morning, cuz he came down from Denver and we went and had breakfast together. I have to say it again — my Dad fucking rocks. Other misc news … there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll be buying another laptop; this one is having some whack power issues, and it’s just getting slow. Hopefully work will chip in a little and help me out. Also, got a new cell phone number — all you peepz out there can hit me up at 719.287.4741. The old number is still active, but is just a forward to the new one. Other than that, I think I’m gonna buy a receiver and a futon cover today. That’s about it 🙂 [b]Update[/b] – 11:15p – 03/10/02 :: Do any of you guys have any opinions on what kind of laptop I should go after? I’m thinking a Dell Inspiron, cuz they have that 1600×1200 screen. [orgasm here]. Also, I got a futon cover, gotta wash it though. Oh yea, ideas on where to get a decent mid range reciever? I’m thinking pawn shops.

Okay, so I’m sitting around and thinking about some stuff, and I figure out that not only have not received a haircut or replaced my trucks headlight or even bought the futon cover, but I realized that people and relationships change — and also tell you a lot about that person. I’m just going to kind of run through these badboys… Okay, the first group of people are obviously the dudes at thegeekpad. I mean, those are all pretty alright guys, except for when you happen to step on their toes a bit. Now, everyone expects some discomfort, but come on. First they get all pissy at my “no I won’t moderate your news/comments to protect illegal activity” thing, and then they get all mad as hell when one of them gets fucked because of their admitted blinding stupidity. I thought that Craig, for instance, was a pretty good guy. I enjoyed his company and stuff, but alas, that’s no more. Same goes for Ray. Kinda the same goes for Kurt, but Kurt’s a lot more easy going than the previous 2. And that right there kind of highlights shit. I mean, why hasn’t Pat shown up and spewed shit? It could have something to do with the fact that it’s rand0m.org, or it could be that he doesn’t need to say anything. Same goes for Tim — where the hell is he? Why does it seem like the only people actively bitching are the lackeys of the house? Very odd how such nice, enjoyable people can turn into real assholes. Kinda makes you think, huh? Okay, I’m going to avoid the next changing person, because the whole “her and I” thing has been beat to death. Let it be known that she is now an Ice Queen at least 64% of the time. At least she thanked me for the birthday card and seemed pleased to speak to me today. w3rd. Okay, next is Steve, Tore and Matt. Now, these three guys are radically different. I mean, Tore is a hippy at a liberal arts college, and Matt throws boxes at Wally-World and Steve is a computer dude. The relationships I have with them are pretty similar though; although removed distance-wise, it seems like there is a pretty close connection. Not as much with Tore, because we don’t speak / type a lot, but it’s still there cuz of the history. It’s kinda weird how the relationships go from “yea, randal’s a good guy” to “randal’s a philandering ass” to “randal has at least gotten some tang”. I know I have changed, and I know both of them have changed, but I think of all of them the same way — Tore and Steve as the immovable, warm & fuzzy, bend-over-backwards always there type, and Matt as the never-will-betray-you, stunningly blunt yet enjoyable listener type. Oddly enough, those two people have held the position in my life, and our relationships haven’t changed that much: matured, but not changed much. I like them. I was gonna put Laura in here (and Emily, for that matter), but I have to go to class soon. I’ll probably update and put her in, but the gist is that she’s changed a bunch, and I still enjoy her company, but her idealogy seems to be a huge stumbling block in our friendship. I’m pretty sure that’s my problem, though, because I’m “male” and “closed-minded”. LOL. Laura and I were pretty good friends in highschool, and I’d like to think we’re pretty good friends now. Problem is, though, that both of us have changed quite a bit since highschool. Well, I’d like to think that I’m not the same guy, but that’s probably not true. So, in effect, Laura (not me) has changed since then. She is a lot more vocal and active about her opinions now than ever before, and simply because hers don’t coincide with mine, any sort of conversation we have (which invariably ends up in politics) quickly goes to shit. I think she cares a lot more about people and things that are not herself than I do … it might just be our train full of baggage, or it could just be different views, but there’s some relationship tension … I don’t know if it’ll ever work itself out, but in the meantime, it’s nice to know that I can, at any given time, say that I have a friend with bright pink hair. Not going to say anything about Emily, cuz there’s not much left. hrmph. >-| So yea, people change. It’s pretty crazy to see how quickly (less than a day!) and wildly a person’s view will swing to the extreme, and consequently how quickly they’ll treat you like shit. Never seems to work that way to the good side of things. Wouldn’t it be super awesome if an intelligent, attractive, rand0m-luvin 19 year old woman became a super-good-friend in less than 4 hours? That would rock the house.

Not only has my life continued on without this interweb thing for a whole month, it has prospered in many ways. It has also really, really fucking sucked. My life has been great recently. I mean, it’s really, really great. I moved! I now live right downtown, a mere 6 or 7 blocks from work and school. I don’t drive very much at all anymore, even though I still have my license — thanks to a very nice District Attorney, I got off really light — in fact, driving kind of makes me feel funny 😉 The house that I live in is filled with a couple guys who are all really great. Matt, Ben & Shawn all rock … we don’t fight, we don’t sit around and bitch, nobody is an asshole. From what I can see, it’s waaay better than any of the similar ‘house-full-of-guys’ situations that I see around. Work has also exploded … tons and tons of new business makes for not much free time at work anymore; that’s quite alright, though, because I love what I do. My grandmother died on Saturday the 16th. I flew to Utah, saw the funeral, saw the whole family, the whole shebang. It really wasn’t that bad. No disrespect to my grandmother, but it was actually a pretty good time — got to see some family that I haven’t seen in a long time, and just generally got to enjoy everyone’s company: even my parents’. That’s a funky thing … I move out, and all of a sudden, my parents like me. They want to spend time with me. They want to make sure I’m doing okay. They want me to take everything they have to ensure my own success. It’s quite the change from how it’s been for the past … 19 years. It’s nice, though. Just about everything rocks — school is great, work is great, home is great, life is great. There are some things that aren’t so great, though. For instance, one of the headlights on my truck went out. And … umm … I still owe Tony some $ for the 46″ Sony TV that I bought from him [which is in the living room at the house], and he’s pretty anal when it comes to money — more so than even me 😉 Other things that suck … umm … I got shot down by a lady-friend when I tried to woo her. That wasn’t very much fun. On the other hand, things are going well with a school-female-friend [even though there’s no real potential], so I guess that balances out. I can’t complain about money, because I have enough. Oh wait, I need a cover for my futon. That’s a sucky thing. Oh, and a torch lamp, I don’t have one of those … but I can take care of those two things so they are no longer sucky. I can’t really complain about much else, because everything is going so well. On the website side of things, yes, it’s back. Very few of the links work right now, because all the pages have to be retooled to fit the new rand0m’s Content Management System [rCMS] function libraries. rCMS not only makes things waaay easier from a coding standpoint, but also allows a lot more flexibility — for example, you’ll be able to make your own color scheme for the site! The rest of the sidebar content here will be up in the next few days, and will also be completely arrangeable / selectable according to your user preferences [if you opt to create an account (not available yet)]. So that’s the whole deal. The site is back, as is the meaningless, ever-repeating crap that is posted here on a continuous basis. Enjoy 🙂