weekend and some [deep] thoughts

I had a pretty good weekend. Plans on friday night fell through so I did absolutely nothing. [sarcasm] That was super-great. [/sarcasm]. Saturday, however, was much better. I went out with Steve and Dave to the mall, bought Wolfenstein [sweet game, w0o!], and then went back to his place and watched a couple videos, one of which was an “In Depth Documentary” called “Startup.com”. Most people would scoff at the movie, and think that it sucked, but I enjoyed it — it was a very good introspect on the life of the e-entrepeneur. Today wasn’t as good. Oh, and I got a copy of G.Orwell’s 1984, so I’m reading that [finished Rand’s Atlas Shrugged a while ago]. Oh yea, one more thing … CU Boulder won the Big 12 conference. Go CU 🙂 Woke up at god-awful 8:15am to go to church. Apparently there are people staying at my house [The Lawsons] … I don’t know for how long. Anywho, church, then food, and then another church thing at 6. I really don’t like church. Too much in one day makes me want to get violent. And now on to the three or four good things, instead of this rubbish …

The first of these things is something inspired by Janelle. Now, as we all know, I go out of my way to avoid talking about her, but this was pretty Thought Provoking. This summarizes her thinking: in this moment, why give a fuck about other people, and how your action might affect them? Well, you know, she’s got a point. Everything you do *always* affects other people, no matter how much you may not want it to. I abhore to use it, but it’s like a social responsibility, the whole looking at how you effect others thing. I hate that, too :: how can I be a selfish, pro-me-only person bent only on my own gratification when I always have to be aware of everybody else? Not a simple question to answer, and not one that I am conscious of — what I *am* conscious, of however, is what is keeping me in shangrala, and what is not.

Okay, here’s #2. What the hell is up with super-flirty girls? Man, you know, they sure are nice and everything, and they smell good, and you just want to grab onto them and man, it’s really great to have a girl like you even if she’s a complete airhead, but * Come On *. I think they think it’s some kind of sick game to see how ensnared they can get a guy. Case in point … I meet this girl today, and she’s really nice, but she’s dumb. [Note to self: that’s the first sign of doom. run away!] Sure, she was all nice, and kept doing all the typical girl-style “I like you signals” … like lots of eye contact, smiling, touching, brushing against, the whole shabang. But, of course, she’s just a super-flirt, and it all went nowhere. [irritation here].

Okay, and now to the tough parts. Sorry to be long winded, just a bit of things to say. The main crux of some stress right now is the whole web development thing. There’s a guy who wants an e.commerce site, and is ready and willing to pay $9,000 straight up for it. Problem, though, is that he keeps redoing front end designs, keeps scrutinizing the contract, keeps stalling. That’s what it seems like to me, at least. The main problem is that he wants it functional by 01/01/02. There’s a couple problems here … first off, there is almost no way to get a site up and running from scratch in less than a month. Especially when it’s December, and everyone is travelling for holidays [or in jail (gulp)]. I’m a pretty amazing guy, granted, but I just don’t think it can be done unless there is A) a lot more money, B) more people working on it or C) it is not from scratch. I’m really in a bind, because it’s almost to the point where the contract *can’t* get fulfilled on my side, mostly due to his delaying. But, both HPI and I need the money. I have big, big fines coming my way

2001-12-02 23:08:52 – Burnz

Can’t help you with anything but the sweater question. You have a kinda thick neck, sweaters look good on a guy like that. So that is the biggest solution you seem to need. Oh and you like to be warm because you live in frostbite Colorado.

2001-12-03 00:05:05 – Laura

GO BUFFS! Fight CU down the field, CU must win Fight, fight for victory, CU knows no defeat So roll up a mighty score, never give in Shoulder to shoulder we will fight, fight, fight fight fight! To answer Master Ha-Reed’s question from the previous post…of course i fucking rioted? it was fucking great. better than sex. tear gas in your eyes, running with thousands of other people down the main street. amazing. We fucking rock…my god! I’ll tell you my whole story sometime (it’s too long to type). Three light poles went down, a car was almost flipped, there were cops with shields everywhere, people got hit in the face with rubber bullets, there were at least 20 canisters of tear gas fired. we had so much fucking fun. i wish you all could have been here. after the riot, i went and got fabulously drunk.

2001-12-03 15:35:47 – cosmosmoon

Answers: Girls do not suck, we are goddesses. You are a retard because that is the most popular and easiest way to be these days. You have shitty life-sized problems because how else can your life story be turned into a made for TV special? Sweaters are warm and fuzzy. Muscle is heavier than fat. And, you’re a lazy bum.

2001-12-03 15:41:16 – Laura

Amen to that, my sista! And, Randal, gorls don’t suck. If you really believed that, you would be gay. You’re a retard? i had no idea. You bring your problems on yourself. Most people would run from them, though, so at least you’re dealing with them…hehe.

2001-12-03 16:01:35 – rand0m

sometiiiimes I feel I’ve got to [uh uh] run away, i’ve got to [uh uh] get away … 😉 And I didn’t say all girls suck. Just the leading-on type ones. They really suck. Yes, I do bring them on me, cuz I’m a goddamn retard. And I like sweaters. yummm, sweaters. And I’m not lazy. I’m a very motivated young man, aspiring to greatness [cough].

2001-12-03 16:37:01 – anthony_j_anzelmo

Hey, sounds like you’ve got quite the predicament. Since the holidays are usually stressful when staying at relatives, might i suggest this: take your laptop with you to utah, along with you cell phone… work your ass off on the contract along with the help of someone that knows ASP and SQL, (I know I’d work for some extra cash), and that way, you’re so busy working, you don’t notice any other stress, and at the end of the month, you’ve got mad cash to pay off all your bills, and the problems to go along with it. As far as the contract goes, just be up front with the guy, say, yeah, I can do it in a month, but at 160 hours, full time, that’s gonna be more than 3 large! That will tell you if he is serious about the contract! Make sure you get at least half down payment, in cash or check.

2001-12-03 16:49:51 – rand0m

yea, I plan on taking my laptop with me … only problem is that it’s not powerful enough to be a complete web.dev solution :: can’t run IIS & SQL on it with any sort of performance. I’d like to break up the project so that it’s able to be worked on by multiple people, but it just can’t happen – the whole thing is so interrelated, it would be impossible to code it and make everything work together. As for payment, assuming that it goes right, it’s 1/3 up front, 1/3 half way, and 1/3 on completion. Assuming that the whole thing actually goes through, and he stops delaying and signs the damn contract. I could *really really really* use $2k.

2001-12-03 16:55:34 – Master Ha-reed

in this moment, why give a fuck about other people, and how your action might affect them? that question seems to be ‘Thought Provoking’ IMHO because humans are naturally social animals, and thus have to deal with the pitfalls of benefits of being social seriously, if you could be someone who could do that (not caring about others) 24/7, w/o regard to anyone else, in a fuck the rest of the world – sort of way, you would transcend humanity – becoming more like a robot and a god than any human and therefore, the rest of us pitiful little humans have to deal with things such as conscience and the need for acceptance, the need to feel loved, etc. etc. blah blah blah and we try to make a balance between having a sense of self-esteem, self-confidence and independence, and being loved and accepted and all the rest

2001-12-03 16:58:07 – Siaokh

[Bat Signal] RANDAL GET ON AIM! [/Bat Signal]

2001-12-03 16:58:52 – Master Ha-reed

hmm… it appears that either randal is using the htmlspecialchars function be4 displaying this text… or a string replace function to get rid of tags… cuz when i put in [rant] and [/rant] w/ normal tags (i.e. "")… they dissappear…. grrrr

2001-12-03 18:11:45 – rand0m

well, this is borderline theoligical, but you can easily transcend that whole human emotion thing by clamping down on emotion, and only allowing one’s own personal joy be the the only thing of any worth. $.02. Oh, and I’m not using htmlspecialchars, I’m using striptags() which kills everything inside < and > … it’s like that so you whores can’t destroy my comments section. However, a list of alternate [] tags will be up sometime.

2001-12-03 21:03:42 – The Disco X

NOTICE: Use of the word "Retard" to describe my friends will result in my losing all respect for you. This is your only warning. Thank You for your cooperation

2001-12-03 22:35:43 – Laura

fuck it. Just get crunked.

2001-12-04 00:14:51 – realbighead

go the Stoic route. Just don’t care about anything which isn’t in your sphere of choice. Since it’s not your choice anyways, there’s no point in worrying about it. This actually does tend to narrow down your list significantly, although you do become a fatalistic bastard in doing so and stand a good chance of simply going altogether apathetic. It’s got upsides, it’s got downsides, it’s just like every other philosophy ever. Although, like everything else, the benefits simply won’t show unless you are truly core about it. That’s my nickel, since my thought is obviously more valuable than all you $.02 wenches.

2001-12-04 01:56:14 – Laura

hrmm…girl scout cookies, cheez shit and crackers, mountain dew…the good shit….indeed. tore, tore, tore. my friends and i may be road-trippin to santa fe at some point in the near future…i would like to see you. also, stay with you because we’re poor. will it work? who knows.

2001-12-04 03:28:25 – Burnz

Ha-Reed- Whoa there buddy. A little more thinking than was really required. I didn’t know we had degraded to the level of coffee-shop analysis on the State of the Human Condition and other nonsense. Tore- Same basic thing except with the insertion of the phrase "Motherfucker". rand0m- escape into chemicals or sex or work or some other addiction. Feeding a fix = much easier than real living. Try steroids, then you can lose weight and gain muscle mass while you in turn become nothing but a walking gland that is cut in an oh so foxy way. That is right, one paragraph, I don’t need to follow the parameters of this "English" bullshit that is so popular with the kids.

2001-12-04 08:30:53 – realbighead

I figured randal’s smack habit meant that he already tried that method… I was pulling at strings to figure out another way to fix him. Motherfucker. How many friends, Laura? and when?

2001-12-04 08:43:14 – The Disco X

Randall is such a troll 🙂 Tore, I say you make Laura put out in order to stay with you. If you are going to have annoying women near you, you might as well get something out of it.

2001-12-04 10:25:58 – rand0m

I’m a troll!? wtf? Oh, and the steroids route is cost prohibitive — I’ve already looked into it, and I just can’t afford it. Meth, however, is looking like a better and better option. As for escaping … I do that with work [see next post]. I’m with Disco on the putting out part. Especially if they’re all hottt college chicks. 😀

2001-12-04 17:08:42 – Master Ha-reed

Burnz, I dont know exactly what you mean by ‘coffee-shop analysis’ – granted that isnt going to win any philosophy prizes nor is my $.02 worth close to anything when it comes to a question that has been dealt with by a great deal many more people that r way smarter than i am. Regardless, I think there is a valid point there – do you know anyone who could truly act in such a only I matter non-social world their entire life?