Dear rand0m, I e-mailed you but you still ain’t respondin’ I left my ICQ, my e-mail and my IRC handle at the bottom I sent two e-mails from AOL, you must not-a got ’em There probably was a problem with the hpi mail server or somthin’ Sometimes I type address to sloppy when I’m browsing but anyways; fuck it, what’s been up? Man how’s your web site? I’ve been working on my web site too, I’m about to launch it If I do that, guess what I’m gonna call it? I’ll name it rand0mandtsr.com I read about your mom too I’m sorry I had a friend kill himself when some fucked company didn’t want him I know you probably hear this everyday, but I’m your biggest fan I even get on IRC and chat with the people watchin’ your web cam I got a disk full of your pictures and your even my wallpaper man I like the shit you did with rand0m.hpi.net too, that shit was fat Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan This is Stan My time’s gone away I’m wondering why I.. played counter strike at all A thousand bullets stream by face and I can’t strafe them all And even if I could it’ll all be black, but your picture on my screen It reminds me, that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad.. Dear rand0m, you still ain’t IM’d or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain’t mad – I just think it’s FUCKED UP you don’t answer fans If you didn’t wanna talk to me inside your chat room you didn’t have to, but you coulda replied to Matthew That’s my little brother man, he’s only six years old We waited in some lame-ass chat for you, four hours and you just said, "No." That’s pretty shitty man – you’re like his fuckin idol He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do I ain’t that mad though, I just don’t like bein lied to Remember when we met at Mike’s – you said if I’d e-mail you you would write back – see I’m just like you in a way I never liked your mom neither; she gave me a new asshole for speaking my mind I can relate to what you’re saying on your site so when I have a shitty day, I read away and put it on cause I don’t got any counterstrike skills so that shit helps when I’m depressed I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest Sometimes I even post as you to see if anyone reads It’s like caffeine, the fame is such a sudden rush for me See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it My boss is jealous cause I talk about you 24/7 But he don’t know you like I know you rand0m, no one does He don’t remember what games were like before this counterstrike rush You gotta IM me man, I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose Sincerely yours, TSR — P.S. We should be together too Dear Mister-I’m-Too-Good-To-IM-Or-E-mail-My-Fans, this’ll be the last message I ever send your ass It’s been six months and still no word – I don’t deserve it? I know you got my last two e-mails; I typed the addresses on ’em perfect So this is my MP3 I’m sending you, I hope you hear it I’m in the office right now, wiping all the servers Hey rand0m, I drank a liter of jolt, you dare me to fdisk? You know the song by Limp Bizkit, "Break Stuff" about that guy who didn’t give a fuck and had to come home from work and break stuff? That’s kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from bankruptcy Now it’s too late – I’ve deleted 1000 files, its crashing and all I wanted was a lousy e-mail or a IM I hope you know I deleted +ALL+ of your pictures off my server I love you rand0m, we coulda been together, think about it You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you SCREAM about it I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can’t BREATHE without me See rand0m; {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I’m tryin to talk! Hey rand0m, that’s my boss screamin in the server closest but I didn’t slit his throat, I just tied him up, see I ain’t like you cause if he burns he’ll suffer more, and then he’ll die too Well, gotta go, the fuse is almost burned up now Oh shit, I forgot, how’m I supposed to e-mail this shit out? {*loud explosion*} {*CRASH*} .. {*brief silence*} .. {*Fire Burning*}

Man, you know some fucked up people, that’s cute.