Okay, before I get started, the moral of the story is “always use the bathroom when your body says you need to go.” So Tony, Keen and I decide to go out last night and have some beers and play some pool. The best venue for this shiz is over at Phantom Canyon – great beer and good, cheap pool tables. So after like waiting an hour and a half, we finally got a table and started playing. And getting trashed. It was good. Nikki showed up, that was nice. Around 1:30am, we decide to head home. So we’re walking up tejon at early AM, and we see these three girls. We’re like “WHOA, three girls.” We have just enough liquid courage to talk to them, so we cross the street as planned and happen to be waiting with them at the light. We fire up a conversation, and it is good. We make it to just north of bijou and tejon (west side of acacia park), and we’re chatting away having a good time. One of their other friends shows up, so we’re standing around talking. One of the girls, Kelly, complains that she wants to go home, but has no way to contact her ride — I offer her my cell phone, and she steps away for a minute to make the call. So we’re talking to the other three girls, having a good time, and they decide they’re all ready to go. I get my cell phone back, and the Kelly girl says that her ride will be here in a minute. So the three girls go off to Tony’s or wherever, and Tony, Keen and I are standing around keeping this girl company until her ride shows. All of a sudden I have to pee really bad, so I go running off into Acacia park to pee on a tree. Luckily, they have port-o-lets on the east side of the bandstand, so I use one. I come out of the bathroom and come running back to the guys only to see, from about 40 yards away, some dude just up and cold-clock Tony, who sort of staggers and is stunned, then turn and rabbit punch Keen, who crumples to the ground. Then this random guy just turns and saunters away. I get over there, take a look at Keen, who had fallen down to make sure he’s okay, then turn to see Tony on his cell phone already talking to 911, covered in blood. I turn and flag down a passing police officer, who gets out of his truck and asks what’s going on — I say “My two buddies just got punched by that guy!” So the cop goes over to talk to the random dude, and sees the random dude push the Kelly girl down! Cop instantly hits a run, cuffs the dude and throws him in the police vehicle, while Kelly starts sobbing. So then, just like always, we get a fire truck to show up. And then we get like 6 more police cars to show up. And goddman a fire truck holds a lot of firemen. So we’re getting interviewed and Tony’s getting checked out, making sure he’s okay. The cops totally cross examine Matt and I’s story, then interview Tony, and of course all of our stories match up. The random dude’s buddy is apologizing the whole time, and was actually being pretty cool. Gladly, the punk bitch motherfucker was in the cop car the whole time. So the CSFD determines that Tony’s lip is fucked up, and sends us all (in a cab) to the emergency room. We get there, get checked in and all, and find out that Tony’s tooth went straight through his lip. I got to enjoy watching him and Keen get checked out by the nice people at Memorial hospital, and fill out sickening amounts of paperwork. I also got to see them squirt saline solution *through* Tony’s torn lip! We met a nice police officer-ess (?) named Shannon, who we determined we’d meet up with at Tony’s (the bar) some time and have a beer. We left the hospital and walked home, Matt with a bruised up face and Tony with three stitches and a guaranteed scar. Apparently the random dude was dating the Kelly chick, and gave the story that Matt and Keen, of all people, were trying to tear her clothes off and rape her (LOL) and that he was protecting her. Turns out the guy, Sal Alvarez (I think???) is a recent Air Force Academy graduate and that he is now facing two charges of 3rd degree aggravated assault — low level misdemeanors … he actually got in more trouble for pushing Kelly than for decking Tony and Keen. Amazingly, Tony didn’t kill the little fucker … luckily I came out unscathed … if he had punched me, it would have been all out war – we all know my no-back-down attitude; ask tony about his episode with punching me 😉 So all of that totally brings to bear the moral of the story: when you gotta go pee, go pee, because you just might avoid some psychotic asshole punching you, getting interviewed by the police and enjoying a trip to the emergency room.
2003-08-09 11:12:10 – The Disco Nova
You would think they would give him something more than 3rd for all the damage to tony’s lip.
2003-08-09 13:54:50 – Joe
Yeah, I could see this happenning….I mean, Tony getting punched and then dazed, Matt just falling, and Randall running to the scene arm out, palms up going "WHAT THE HELL!?!" Great Story Rand0m. Just one thing. How many Firemen are in a fire truck? and where the hell do they all sit?
2003-08-09 19:45:18 – amanda
that was horrible… what an asshole to do that to you guys and that girl… i’m glad you guys were there to protect her… hero’s man.. you guys are hero’s… ( ok sobby but true)
2003-08-09 21:18:37 – Chester
Aren’t you guys just magnet for all sorts of wackos. I guess it worked out though, at least Tony didn’t get thrown in jail or something for going BJJ on the motherfucker. Stay out of trouble you crazy kids.
2003-08-09 23:01:53 – M
I was almost glad that your a world-class pisser and weren’t bashed up….until I read the PPSI comment. You deserve a groin crunch for that.
2003-08-09 23:32:56 – tony
So we are heading to Buena Vista tomorrow to go river rafting through Browns Canyon. We will stop at the donut mill in Woodland Park to get some biscuits and gravy. And I will continue to hurt in the jaw. Dang
2003-08-10 23:00:35 – tony
wow, what a day this turned out to be, started off kind of rocky, but ended all through the day flipping excellent drove out and made a stop at the donut mill in woodland park, 2 blueberry strudels, full order biscuits and gravy, 1 donut got to river runners, the best rafting place in buena vista, and with ‘jason lee’ as our guide, and 4 strangers, me, matt, and valerie floated down the arkansas river into browns canyon for a half-day trip that was amazing, beautiful, fun a mile down, jason told us to try to the splash-o-matic, so we all 8 crammed as far into the back of the raft as possible and paddled as hard as possible into a rock. we got huge vertical and everyone but me fell into the water. splash, o, matic. headed down a bit further to a 25-foot cliff where half the people jumped, including matt and val, the other half including me, went off a 15 foot cliff. what a rush. the rapids were awesome, nice at 650 cfs. we tried hard to surf into an eddy but no luck. got back to the van and headed out, what a great time, and we took a waterproof camera with us, so scanning them in. got back and stopped at buena vista’s local pizza place, all got stromboli and stuffed. headed back and stopped at wilkerson pass for a half hour to watch the lightning storms off in the valley and then drove on to manitou springs. tasted the mineral waters and took 2 bottles for home, and then stopped at the penny arcade for a bit. got some of the arcade b&w pictures. those were funny as hell. what a day….
2003-08-11 10:32:24 – WC
oOf! Sounds like you guys had a blast this weekend. -With a near WWIII on Friday -Excellant rafting on Sunday Always with the good times 😉
2003-08-12 14:49:44 – tony
Photo & Letter CD for Paulie ——————————– I’m going to start putting together a cd of photos to send to Paulie. It will have some photos from randal’s 21st birthday, past parties, our recent rafting trip, and other stuff. If any of you want to contribute, email details to me or randal.