goddamn posting spree

yea, so it’s fucking 2am and I’m still awake. This place is giving me the fucking shakes — my nerves are on fire every second that I’m awake. My whole trip so far has been on-edge, and extremely not-so-fun. Today was by far the best day, because I saw my immediate family [mom, dad & sis], and my grandparents, and that’s it. No one else. However, the grandparents are a very, very sad story.

My sister got one of her molars pulled. Apparently it was in really bad shape … she was up all night with pain, and went to the dentist today, and they advised to pull it, so they did. She’s miserable. And she whines a lot. Even before the tooth incident, all she did was bitch about how the family treats her like a little kid … my reaction was “only because you allow it.” … it’s very true … I may *be* a little kid [well, not really], but nobody fucks around with me because I’m not going to take their shit … back on track, my sister is a good girl, but she complains a lot about everything. Annoying.

Sitting around talking to Burnz again tonight … pretty sombering. We’re both nearing 20, and we have both realized that we have gone nowhere, and done nothing. We even got into this bullshit little fight about who sucks more … me mentioning the no-license thing, him mentioning his poor webmastering skills … it all kind of shook itself out: we suck, we know it, and to be quite fucking honest, there’s not much we can do about it right now. Sad, depressing, all that other shit.

Update: On another extremely depressing front, reliable word has it that my previous girlfriend thought our whole relationship was, and I quote, “a mistake.” How’s that for a confidence booster, eh?

Update (another one!): Today has been not much better than any other day. I spent most of it stonewalling and trying to keep people’s bullshit out of my face. Went and saw some mormon movie, and it was shit. “other side of heaven” it was called. thought about theatre hopping, but 1) they have tons of people working there, like 1-1 patron/employee ratio and 2) I was in the middle of the fucking row. That was today, for the most part.

I finished both of my books – William Gibson’s Neuromancer and the same’s Burning Chrome – both were very good. I’m going to try and get Fellowship of the Ring done before Christmas. Oh, I hear it’s blizzarding in Co.Springs – it’d be pretty nice to have that here; Utah weather is this light-gray, all the time. There is no sun, there is no snow, just this terrible, heat-sapping light-gray. It’s bad.

2001-12-21 08:37:10 – The Disco X

Let me clue you in Randalll, women are flaky. Yours was flakier than most. Women ALWAYS say that it was a mistake when they break up with somebody. I would say that it was a mistake on your part to date her, but you got to hit it, so it wasn’t so bad.

2001-12-21 12:43:34 – Burnz

Now that is flagrantly untrue. Maybe every woman calls Disco a mistake, but mine at least say "it was a learning experience" usually. There is the occassional crazy bitch that wants to renounce the entire occurence, but from what I have seen they are fewer and farther between. You just got lucky Randal and found one of them.

2001-12-21 19:04:55 – wooo zahhh

well i didn’t tell anyone that i was going snowboarding, so it turns out, i actually went, thus, i have figured out how my mind works… i am antisocial when i want to have fun, hmmm, or maybe not, which isn’t saying much, i’m a computer science major, and i’ll leave it to getting a girlfriend thats a psych major or a major psycho to figure it out oh yeah, fuck it, the riding was fucking awesome, total bliss, reminded me of how much peace i get from riding on teh mountain… just ah so nniiccee

2001-12-21 19:19:48 – nell

i’d like to know who he considers reliable sources. if i did say that, it was taken entirely out of context. i still think it was one of the best experiences of my life. and i’m kind of curious as to why i’m thought to be a flake, but i don’t really feel like getting into it. in any case, i disagree. and i hope, at least, that randal doesn’t find our relationship any more of a mistake than i do.

2001-12-21 21:36:24 – bastard

dizamn on the mothafuckin what the fuck I don’t care if you guys laugh at this or not, i hope you do, laughter is the medicine that doesn’t require a prescription, lame, unlike vicodin which does, fucking lame!!!! alright, here goes, i can’t handle this distance relationship with this girl, because, i like physical intimacy, actually, i just want to hold her… yeah, ex-girlfriends, they’re good, but like a book you’ve read, it’s not the same as the first time, but you can always read them over and over again, unless someone else has jizzed between certain pages… ha ha, that was funny, i’m drunk, oh shit, shouldn’t done that, woops, too late

2001-12-22 00:12:33 – rand0m

Disco has a point … a shitty one, but a point. The "always say it was a mistake" thing sounds pretty valid, but sure doesn’t make me feel any better. I don’t know what to say to Janelle about the whole thing — I can’t understand a context problem when it comes to this particular thing, but I don’t think it was a mistake. I’d do it again. T-Bar … where’d you go boarding at? And man, that’s quite the analogy :: to bad I can’t re-read that book 😉

2001-12-22 02:16:32 – The Disco X

Always trust me to tell you the horrible truth. An I read Neuromancer today, I’ll have to borrow that other one from you. I bought it like 5 years ago but never read it for some reason.

2001-12-28 12:52:21 – annoying sister

FUCK YOU! You are by far the most arrogant, puffed up loser I have ever met. All you do is mull over "deep and confounding" thoughts. But the truth is, that you are a spoiled brat, who has way too much time on his hands. I can whine and puke and cry, but I have a reason, yet Randal when you whine you use eloquent words and prose. I feel sorry that you are such a shallow person. However, that being said, I found you to be pissy, difficult,and full of attitude all X-mas, However that is how teenagers act and you my dear, are the epitomy of teenager. Shape up. As for whining……I still love ya. M